Tuesday, August 11, 2015

There's no time to waste wasting love.

A married B.
C and D just bought a house.
E left F for G.
H just got his doctorate and
I don’t care.

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Uncried tears are one of nature’s greatest sacrileges.

Thursday, July 23, 2015

I Am Human Too

My heart pumps blood.

I know yours does too.

Can you feel what is means to be alive?

I have erred, sometimes greatly.

It is our unifying factor as humanity,
this idea that we all makes mistakes.

Being humans makes it so.

We are simply human, and it’s all we can be.

I just wish to treat others humanely
and to be treated so myself.

Lay your head on my heart, it’s pumping blood.

We are both alive, this is true, real,
the only thing that matters.

Lay your head on my heart
and feel the life beating from within
and know that I am human

(Feb 2014)

Sleeping through sunrises, working through sunsets.

People I've Known (In My Mind)

Betty Sue
Betty Sue was a weird one.  She had an online dating profile where she acted as if she was a vampire.  In the profile section where one is to describe what they are looking for in another person, she simply wrote, “Necks.”  On her days off, which were all of them (she never worked), she sat around pretending to be a cat.  No one was sure why, even her.  This did lead to a lot of free bowls of milk left by helpful neighbors.  As fate would have it, she was lactose intolerant and never got to enjoy the treat left for her.  Many thought her to be mentally ill, and she was.  Not only that, she was also physically ill, all of the time.  She claimed to have had the same cold since 1946, which she also claimed was given to her when a homely looking child sneezed into her face inside a McDonalds restaurant.  She once fell asleep next to a homeless man and during her sleep attempted to cuddle him.  Thinking she was attempting to steal his change, he punched her in the vagina.  This unfortunately led to her timely death (she had wanted to die since she was 8, so whenever was good for her).

Tod.  Oh, what a guy.  He was a skidoo enthusiast.  He loved the way his package looked in those tight water pants.  He was known to say, “Whatever floats your skidoo.”  What a dork.  He was a Wall Street executive who always gelled his hair back and to the left.  He said it was inspired by the JFK assassination.  He was rich as all fuck, but not fuck as all rich, whatever the that means.  He once finger fucked a donkey just for the hell of it.  A devoted father of none, and a lifetime, devoted alcoholic, he claims to have once drank an entire bottle of beer using only his rectum.  No one is sure what he meant by this.  In his younger days, he joined a sorority, not knowing that men are supposed to be in fraternities.  It worked out for him, as he got much more pussy surrounded by drunk sorority chicks all the time.  He stayed with the sorority until the day he died.  He was hit by a car and thrown 30 feet, ironically enough, forward and to the right.

Susie Q
Susie Q was an odd one.  She was a germophobe saxophonist.  This was troublesome for her at times, as she never wanted to put her lips on the dirty saxophone tip.  So, she just held the saxophone a lot.  She was pretty good at that part of saxophoning.  She was also good as cell phoning.  And, homophobing.  She would call up gay people on her cell phone and call them homophobic slurs.  What a little cunt.  She died of pneumonia when she ate a freeze pop during the middle of the winter while attempting to climb Mount Everest.

Monday, July 20, 2015

Most People Don’t Want Love, They Just Think They Do

Most people don’t want love, they just think they do.

Once they have it, they squander it, waste it, throw it away.

I think they have yet to truly love themselves.

Most people don’t want love, they just think they do
because once they get it
they run from it

Most people don’t want love, truly.

They can’t handle such a thing,
it is too strong of an emotion
that can quickly turn the other way
if taken away.

Most people don’t want love, they just think they do.


Saturday, July 18, 2015

Oncoming Freedom

Oncoming freedom
is like walking with a cage around you

Oncoming freedom
is like waiting for a jail cell to open
when you have been sentenced to life

Oncoming freedom
is a lie
the only reality
is freedom now

(Jan 3 2015)

Some Shit

It’s a miracle I’ve remained this surprisingly normal.

I roll my eyes at many of you who aren’t trying nearly hard enough.

Explosive poops.

When all else fails, make fun of Asians.


Clint Eastwood.  On Westoil.  (Explanation:  Bill Clinton.  Opposite of wood heating is oil heating).  Fuck you, it was something.

Things you don’t hear often:  A 29 year old man exclaiming:  “HEY MOM!  I GOT MY PERIOD!”

Did you touch my cats bunghole?

Who is the cool ass person in the English language who went and made sure that Granny’s and panties rhymed?  That dude deserves credit.

When a chicken goes to heaven, it gets its chicken wings.  It can choose hot or mild, and only hope it isn’t eating one of its relatives.

Advice to live by:  Don’t ever shower with your grandmother.

Can you knock me off this writer’s block?  I don’t think so.  I’m balanced out by this chip on my shoulder.

Like a woodstove with a burning fire inside had sex with a hot female burlesque artist writer.  Then, that kid grew up and mated with a spoon or fork.  That’s what I’m like.

Writing is a great outlet.  Now go stick a fork in it and create something magical.

The jester jokes, but speaks more truth than the politician.  The politician, serious as all can be, creates more absurdity and laughs for anyone truly listening.

Don’t waste time attempting to jam your square peg life into the round hole society it doesn’t fit into.

Some things in life are private.  Your income, email passwords, and parts.

Some of us they don’t have, some of us they can’t fool.  No matter how hard they try, the mind of a true rebel will not buy into the bullshit.  Stay rebellious.

There’s a large difference between misunderstood and insane.  Some people don’t understand this.  They might be insane.

There are the ballers that are there once in a while.  There are the ballers that are there most weeks.  There are the ballers that are there every week.  Then, there are the ballers that are there every week and have been there every week for years.

They prey on the naïve and hopeful and those that don’t know any better…those innocent to the idea, those have yet to be jaded.  The young of mind, naïve.  The ones you have no bad intentions, those who are happy to be doing it, the ones wanting to live their dream.  They take advantage of that type of thing.  Be careful out there in the workforce.  Be careful out there in the world.

Recycled humanity.  Forever replaced.  An unending cycle.  But the same fears, flaws, emotions, feelings.  Has it changed?  Have we?  Love, hate, sex.  Continues on…forever.  Recycled humanity, molds the same, feelings similar, not that much different.  Recycled, replaced, reused.

My blood is young and won’t be replaced.

Two men meet up.  They both have strong colognes on.  There they are.  Two men with competing colognes.  Who will win?  Definitely not us people sitting here having to smell this.

It’s time they just change the name to Fakebook.

I’ll hit you in the head with a fuckin piece of wood.  Don’t worry, it will be fully seasoned.  I know what I am doing.  I wouldn’t dare hit you with some newly downed green piece.  You must season the wood at least six months before hitting someone in the head with it.  You will be able to tell the wood is ready to hit someone in the head with once you can notice cracks on the outside, and once the color becomes darker and more grey like.  You will also be able to tell when it is time to hit someone in the head with the wood once the bark starts somewhat flaking off.  Wood that still has a strong smell is too green to be hitting someone in the head with, wait until the wood has lost it’s strong scent before banging skulls with it.  If you want to get really technical, you can buy a wood moisture reader and it will tell you the exact moisture content.  You don’t want to hit someone in the head with wood that is any more than 20% water content.  That wood is not ready to hit someone in the head with yet.  It is best to leave the wood outside for at least six months, better if it is more like a year, before hitting someone in the head with it.  You will also know that the wood is ready to hit someone in the head with when if you knock two pieces together, they make a loud, higher pitched crack sound.  If you hit two pieces together and it sounds more like a thud, the pieces are not ready to hit someone in the head with yet.  Cut the wood to the proper length perfect for handling so you can pick it up and hit someone in the head with it.  Properly stack and cover the wood outside and let the wind and sun get to it.  Then, in the right time, you will be able to use this wood to hit someone in the head with.  Either that, or you can be really boring and just burn this wood in your woodstove.  I’m not sure why you would do that, though,  You don’t want to be wasting perfectly good, seasoned wood by burning it in a woodstove when you can be knocking bitches in the noggin’ with it.

Working in a Chinese restaurant, while walking in to the walk-in, Christopher Walken walked in to Wok Ein.

Llani is literally illiterate, llike a llama.  Llike that?  I sensed a lull in your llaughter.  Llesbian.  That last one doesn’t even go with it, but I lleft it.

Why is fire any more special than shit?  Because of what it can give us?  Why is fire more amazing than poop?  I know all of what fire can do for us, but when you really get down to it, these things are only as special as we think they are.  Fire and that lily pad are equal in a cosmic sense, just as humans are equal with a piece of a rabbit’s fingernail.  It is only what we believe that makes them special.  I guess what I’m getting at is that those amazing stars above us that we will never truly figure out aren’t any more special, unique, awe inspiring, or amazing than the idea of air pushing out of your uncle’s asshole so that everyone at the dinner table has to smell shit.  This guy, and that lady, in a larger sense, are equal, and they are equally as awe inspiring as that moose you saw one time in the woods in it’s natural habitat.  These things are all amazing.  The greats works of art, that poem you read once that changed how you thought of things is in a way, no more special than a 12 year old writing dick joke graffiti at the playground.  Drink up, this is life, enjoy all this random shit for what it is.  Random shit.  Nothing we understand or ever will.  We sometimes think we do.

Let me save you some time:  She aint mysterious.  There aint nothing magical to figure out.  She’s just fucked up.

Toys.R.Us.  I want to come out with a more grammatically correct toy store called We Are Toys.

Some 20 something girl sings lines she didn’t write, think, or feel into a microphone out in California and makes millions.

Chinese is more ching chong ching, while Japanese is more wing wong wing.

I like those who get over in spite of the system instead of because of it.

Raw, real, unfiltered, naked, alive, free, ravage, animal, sweat, love, spit, taste, kissing, intense, heat, passion, fucking, feel, insanity, orgasm, explosion, intensity, nothing like it

My beard now reaches my nipple.  I win.

Shut up Bob Dylan, I’m trying to listen to Tracy Chapman.
Shut up Obama, I’m trying to hear George Carlin.
Shut up people, I’m trying to hear life.

There are about 7 people worth listening to in life.

You always hear about world hunger, but you never hear about world thirst.

You can get violently close to someone.

A Pepsi logo painted into a bomb hole in Afghanistan.

Dad as we are driving down North Houghton Street and some lady walks across the street, “Marge is still alive, wow!”

Actual tagline to a movie, “One machines journey to become his own man.”

What worries you more…midgets or gingers?

I look like Johnny Depp.  Just not as ugly.

Swim With The Dead Fish
Fall in line, mother fucker.  Do as your told.  Never expect to be treated as you should, and damn you for thinking that perhaps people would treat you as well, if not better, than you treat them. Don’t work hard at work, it is never appreciated, and it is definitely never rewarded, less given a thank you for.  Don’t go above and beyond.  Be mediocre.  Fit right in.  Swim with the dead fish.  Let the flow take you.  Don’t fight it.  The undertow of mediocrity knows how to pull you in.  One man being different, one man being brilliant, one man being special, out of the norm -  himself, will never change the course of the stream.  The heavy tide is too much.  The pull of the masses makes it so.  Fall in line.  Do as you are told.  Swim.  Swim with those dead fish.  Let the waters of banality take you.  Succumb to how they are, how they have made it, never reach for anything more.  Just go with it.  You will not win this fight.  Tread on, in their direction.  Never take your own path, never go your own way.  They don’t like that.  Follow the way it has been already set.  Do it.  Go with what they know, not what you know.  Don’t question.  Fall in line, mother fucker.

I wish only to change the world.

Thanks for reading.


Tuesday, July 14, 2015


The say at worst that women are inferior to men
and at best that we are equal
I was robbed of motherhood
and instead I have a dick

(May 12 2015)

Two Things For Ya

Hitler never had to go to high school reunions.  People seemed to know what he was up to.

If you build it they will come.  That was about dildos.

In a world with no kings, banana is king.  Either that, or hopscotch.


I always feel
there’s not enough time
for all the things you want to do

I find myself thinking time is running out
and I’m not even 30.

All I want is more time to spend with those I love
doing things I love to do


Wood is fire yet to be realized,
life is beauty hidden much the same.

Too Late

I don’t believe in too late
I can’t
because it might be


Freedom.  Dance.  Opportunity.  Fluidity.  A chance.  Roam.  Time.  Freedom.  Change.  Dance.  Freedom.  Openness.  New.  Different.  A fresh start.  Freedom.  Release.  New Beginning.  Rejoice!

Time.  New.  Yes.  Love.  Time.  Freedom.  New.  A chance.  Go with it.  Flow.  Life.  New.  Time.  Freedom.  Yes!
The Torch

Fire creates fire.

Passion does the same.

Creativity and inspiration are a spark
that can light a wildfire of emotion.

Nothing can drown it out.


No amount of hatred.
No amount of opposition.


Love is an eternal fire that burns
as long as you feed it.


Fire (and therefore wood), warmth.
Water (and therefore nature), life.  
Air (and therefore breathe), soul.
Sun (and therefore light), vision.
Earth (and therefore resources), survival.
Life (and therefore time), joy.

Like the bellows for a dying fire,
art breathes life into a withering soul.


behind the dollars
hides a shadow of god
something many are willing to goosestep towards

hidden in the bills
hides a god
we have created
greater than all creation
but not truly - only in our minds

that green face hides a face a god
hidden deep within the idea of it

we have made it so

we have created this religion
this faith
this belief

but I’m not fully buying it

(2 26 2015)


money is a god
we have created
and sacrificed our lives to

our existence starving
there on the cross we have created

our lives given over
to this deity
we have made more important
than life itself


You only get one life to live.
Don’t waste it doing what doesn’t make you happy.

Any moment lost
is a sacrilege to the gift you have been given.

Every day wasted
a spit in the face
to the very idea of what it means to be alive.

(Feb 25 2015)

I keep hope in my back pocket
and won’t let it be broken

I am strong.

Stronger than even I realize.

This single strand holding me together
is strong like the thread of a spider web
and there is nothing
and no one
anywhere at anytime
that can break it

(2 12 15)
The Laughter Of A Madman

They might think this man is mad
but I laugh at the idea
getting joy from the fact
that I love this
perhaps more than they ever could

(2 12 15)

The moon doesn’t ask for anything
nor does the sun
they are just as they are
as we are
and I still don’t understand
almost any of it

Feb 5 2015

To The Self-Assured

What you think you understand
could simply be
what you have yet to discover
you don’t

Feb 5 2015


There is light at the end of the tunnel, I see it here, now.

There is light here now, not only at the end, but through the sides.

I can see light
in the darkest of places

I can find something illuminating
within the daunting

There is light here now, I see it, this train is coming, open
like spring
like the legs of a woman opening to you once again

There will be something new

There will be something different

Life will change,

(Feb 11 2015)

A Dream

I knew I was a child, now a man, of privilege.  The grass was always green here and grew very well.  In the distance, behind some wall I know I could easily be at, I could see something different.  I took the binoculars.  There was a man far skinnier than any man should be, he sat naked with crumbling stone buildings around him.  He had no shelter from the weather, from the rain.  He looked beat down and worn out.

The rich here had bikes, but when I saw them, there was always more than one person on one.  That is the type of poor you were dealing with.  The poorness you could feel and nearly taste just by the look on the eyes of the child standing in the street, by the looks of the old man’s frail and naked body.

People picked food from withering gardens, stone buildings above them crumbling down.  There were no roofs.  It was sand and wind and little protection from it.  It was a sad, sad scene.  The people were either dead, nearly dying, or painfully struggling.  Life shouldn’t have to be this way, but it is.  The people continued on, somehow.  And, the children played in the streets, unaware of it all.  That is the hope there.  The children smiled and laughed as they played, even amongst this scene.  It is as if the children are our most brave hope, because they know so little.  Or perhaps, they are such genius that they know it all.
On the other side of philosophy is comedy.
On the other side of art is the tangible.

The shackles we put onto ourselves, handcuffing our lives to our limited selves.
We are jailed, imprisoned by our imperfections, by our impurities.
We must goose step, following a certain way because of our flaws.
We sabotage our own lives by the way we live them, not even seeing it.

We forget how to dance.  Feet shackled we stumble, unable to be free to let loose.

The dance, the song isn’t the same.

The beauty of it is lost somewhere, because of the limitations we put on ourselves.
Glimmering Hope

My light burns bright within, this fire is an ember that will spark a wildfire

I know it is in there.

One day I hope to let myself be that.

One day I hope you can see it, truly, all of it

(Jan 11, 2015)
Your Soul

Art cannot be taken away from the one who creates it.

You cannot chip away at a soul.  It remains somehow, deep within, unaffected, just perhaps covered with life, covered with pain and bad things and negativity.

The soul remains deep within, unaffected.

You just have to be willing to dig through the muck
to find it

(Jan 11 2015)
What Can’t Be Taken From You

They can never take away style
they can never take away dance
or emotion or art

They can’t.  It is not theirs to take.

It is of something greater.
It is of something that is not theirs.
It is unique to you.

It is your own song to dance
your own life to live
and no one
can take that from you
but yourself

(Jan 11 2015)

There isn’t much worse to me than a waste of time
and it is what many people to me are disguised as
and I don’t understand how to enjoy what is
I can only see the future and what won’t be
and I can’t let time be killed
I have learned to murder it instead


Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Gymnasium Salad

It is when you have “nothing to do” that you can do anything.

Love is such a beautiful thing.  It is so ugly to waste it.

Turning our back on tomorrow by going against today.

Let’s go out in public amongst people you know.  I want to come home and hear how sexy you think I am.

A list of things that feel equal to or better than sex (in a different way):

  • making a great pass in basketball
  • dancing
  • someone who has earned it finally getting their chance to shine
  • being outside in the open air surrounded by nature with no distractions
  • writing (at certain times when it’s really good)
  • murdering my cats - got ya
  • laughing

If I was a seeing eye dog, I’d fuck with people so much.  Bring them to the wrong store.  What are they gonna do, hit me?  I’d just walk them into oncoming traffic.

It’s gotta be magical.  I will accept nothing less than total magic.

Do you believe in magic?  Because I see forever in your eyes.

I want to live my life with the same freedom an carefree attitude that Harry & Lloyd feel once they find out there is money in the briefcase.

Hope is a stepping stone hidden under the river known as life.  When things come hard, it isn’t easy to see, you might no t be able to see it at all, but it is there.  Take a step.

To Realize Dreams

My hope is infinite.

My time is not.

I went to a restaurant and wanted a lemon.  They didn’t have one.  Sometimes life doesn’t give you lemons.

Someone fucking surprise me!

Never make a wish in a war zone.

I think it’s odd that people order a garden salad, because what other type of salad would it be?  A gymnasium salad?

Pig Sty Mind

One can know too much.  How do you know?  You’ll know.  When you know that, it’s too much.

I delivered to this guy with a really nice house, beautiful views, he tips well, and he’s even very friendly.  This house on a hill overlooking the Berkshire mountains, including Mount Greylock and a view into Vermont.  As he gave me the tip, I noticed he was wearing a wig.  I thought, “Look at that guy’s beautiful house.  Yeah, but he feels it necessary to wear a wig.”

Life is a total mystery and we are conscious of it and part of it. Can we even begin to fathom the mystery of death?

My shit numbers don’t add up.  This is not good.  My daily shit calendar has me at 359 shits for the year, my texting shit count has me as 355.  That’s a four shit discrepancy.  (Yes, I said daily shit calendar).

I have a shit calendar.  How cool am I?

The peace and quiet of being poor.

I don’t want your gift.  I’d rather your time.

The Rock isn’t a wrestler. He just acts like one.

You’re asking the wrong guy, man.  I wear dresses for fun.

To ignore the mighty power of nature, what a blatant stupidity.

Why do they make bug spray, but not human spray?  I would probably use it way more.

Success = (hope x realism) + effort.

In a way, I think heaven might smirk down at hell, knowing that much more.

As you get older, all of a sudden, everyone gardens.

Live to feel alive, a passion deep inside that can’t be denied.

Cry me a river, I like swimming, but don’t drown in it.

Illiterate:  doesn’t know about littering.

The idea of tic tac toe crossed my mind, but I crossed that idea out.  Instead, I just wrote an “X” and thought about sideways crucifixion.

In the past 10 years, I haven’t changed.  I’m talking about my clothes.

I’ve got a date with destiny.  I met her at the strip club.

Vagabondage:  a guy that moves from place to place who is into S&M.

Life is a process, not an end result.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  Middle Ages Untransformed Cowboy Bunnies.

You don’t have what you want?  Change some of what you want.  That’s an option.  Or, go get what you want.  That’s another.

Before the internet, blackpeoplemeet.com was just the ghetto.

Dressing as a whore depending on season

Spring: Early spring - be careful (too eager to wear too little) later spring - okay, it’s starting to warm up

Summer: could just be because it’s hot out, too hard to differentiate the true whores from women just trying to stay comfortable in the heat

Fall:  dedicated to their whoreness (Halloween excluded), you have to respect their dedication to being a whore

Winter: way too desperate, could be literally crazy - stay away!

Thanks for reading.

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Your Light

in the darkest of moments
is when you are able to find
how much light
comes from within

(may 22 2014)

Friday, January 17, 2014

One Reason I Smile

My mom told me she pulled Ella (her granddaughter)
on the sled today
and when I got home
I noticed the tracks in the snow all throughout the backyard

(January 11, 2014)

There's too much death
I think to myself, with sadness
but not anymore than life
I think, as reassurance.

(January 13, 2014)

I feel like every falling leaf in the autumn
is like a note from god
reminding us of the beauty of life
but also
that everything must end
so that the cycle can continue

(Jan 6, 2014)

A Picture Is Worth No More Words

I was reading a new poet

The first book had me thinking
he was decent,
he might have a chance.

I figured I might have found another interesting writer.

Then, I got a 2nd book of his at the library.

I turned to the back page biography
and there was a picture of him
holding his glasses slanted
with one of the arms positioned
into the corner of his mouth
and at that time
I realized
this douchebag
was not worth reading

[Billy Collins]

(Jan. 11, 2014)

Take Your Microwave To Heaven

You'd be a fool to think I'm not gonna make my dreams come true.

Wasted ink on a sports game write up.

I tried to open an umbrella indoors, but I opened an umbrella indoors years earlier, so it didn't open.

When the children grow up in cities, you're left with a culture full of adults who don't know how to do much themselves.

I see the smoke from the chimney in the moonlight.

This is a culture where people feel the need for automatic car starters.

You can't use knowledge after death, but you can share it, and that's why I'll never stop learning.

My least favorite number is 232,431.  That's not actually true, I just said it once.

I like to look at the stars and think about life.

The jagged dirt roads running almost invisibly through the mountains somehow became highways.

An hour driving back after you've been gone 10 days is a lot different than an hour in the backyard chopping wood.

I met a Spanish kid named Rob, which didn't seem to reflect his culture.  But then I learned his middle name is People, and it made sense.

If I was high, the rain on the roof would be singing me a melody.

It's no wonder highways can be adopted.  Of course their parents aren't in their lives; they're black.

We've sacrificed so much in an attempt at convenience.

Respect your elders...but not if they're a total dumbass.

Haven't you heard the meek will inherit?  I think that's true.

To me, a handshake simply means you don't want to hug.

In this culture, a serial killer is just another thing.  Really think about that.  A serial killer is normal, not even a big deal anymore.

He doesn't hate everything.  He loves hating.

Take your microwave to heaven.

Rules to live by:  Never show up late for a circle jerk.

9 out of 10 times people should leave each other alone.  Only 1 out of 10 do they.

Are you a Democrat?  Are you a Republican?  No, I'm John Pitroff.

Thanks for reading.


There is something amazingly daunting
about the winter night
-11 degrees, early January, 2:30 am.

Looking up at the sky
it makes me believe
there is something more than this-
but why must there be?

The mystery is enough
to bring such a feeling
to my heart.

(Jan 4, 2014)


Sitting here in the morning
with my three cats,
fire going,
woodstove cooking my toast,
just ate an apple

It's almost too simple
to understand.

It's almost too magnificent
to be seen-
hidden by the simplicity

(late Dec, 2013)
What Needs To Be Said

I wish you would treat yourself better.

I feel partially responsible.

I wasn't always as nice, good as I should have been.

I feel sadness
knowing it's my fault.

I wish you would treat yourself better-
irrelevant of how I treated you.

I should have taken it out on me
I took it out on you.

You didn't deserve that.

It's my fault.

It was me, not you.

I hope you can move on
and live in such a way
that doesn't reflect how I somewhat made you.

I know it's nearly impossible
but know
I am truly sorry.

(Fri, December 27th 2013)

Slight Sympathy

It's sad you don't know how to treat people better.

I think deep down you do.

You want to be loved so much.

I can see it in your outstretched arms as you reach for a hug.

You want to belong
but in many ways you don't.

I'm sorry for you

(December 19, 2013)

A World

I'm eating an apple.
At the end is a core; negativity.

But listen
at that end is a seed; a beginning.

(December 19th 2013)

Sunday, January 5, 2014

It Must Be Lived To Be Understood

I know that kids grow up too fast
I am no longer one-
but I can see from that perspective
I have it within me

I once was-
in a way, still am.

To be able to reflect
but have fun
to be able to let loose
but have responsibility
to be able to still not know-
but have years of experience doing so

To be able to enjoy it like I once did-
but more richly
with more to compare it to
with more to set it against
with the "knowledge" of death
at least knowing it is no more here and now-
to be able to appreciate in a different way.

To be able to enjoy the moment
but perhaps more so now
with the knowledge that it's fleeting

The kids grow too fast
They always said that
now I know-
now I've seen it myself

The kids grow up too fast
but this is nice

The kids grow up too fast
but it's a joy to watch
and knowing adulthood
I hope they learn to love this part

(Dec 19 2013)
Getting Old

Not many want to get old
but I'll take it with grace and dignity-
proud of the years
proud of what I've learned
some little semblance of perhaps...wisdom

Fighting age because it equates to death in our mind
but I'm not afraid

I'm proud to live
so I'll be proud to die

(Dec. 25 2013)
The Show

The mystery of life, god, more
is like
sitting in the audience at a play
but on stage
the curtain never parts

(Jan 4, 2014)

Behind simplicity is the shadow of magnificence.

Shut Up

I don't know anything, and it's a beautiful thing.

Why does a bank need an upstairs?  Actually, why does anyone?

The word "cyber bully" exists.  God help us.

Breakfast With The Pope.

Let's be honest - nothing has ever actually tasted "scrumptious."

People say things are, "like night and day" to mark a huge difference.  It's not.  One it is light out, the other it is less light out.  Not that different.

Hey, how you doing, old friend?  Can I murder you?  No?  Okay.  Well, I just figured I would ask.  Talk to you later.

In elementary school in India, I wonder how they figure out who the smelly kid is.  In America, I wonder how they figure out who the dumb one is.

Carbon online dating.

Picasso coloring in the lines as a kid.

I believe there is something slightly wrong with someone who thinks the effort of parallel parking in order to get their booze is worth it.

I'm not a master of words, I just set them free.

Chance of "pantsing"

Shorts:  Highly likely, if surrounded by assholes.
Jeans:  Tough, but somewhat likely, if surrounded by assholes.
Jorts: You're a douche (surrounded by assholes or not).
Overalls:  You should be okay, if you ignore the fact that you are wearing overalls.
Suit of armor:  No chance, but good luck shitting.

The longer your hair and beard get, the more likely people are to say, "man" to you, regardless of their hair or beard length.

I'd like to be incomparable to anyone or anything.

On my death bed:  ...on to the next adventure.

Thanks for reading.
Pt. I

I only wish
to be important enough
to carried in a lover's wallet-
a picture of me now,
an adult.

Pt. II

I dream of a love
strong enough
that a picture of me as an adult
is carried with someone
at all times
in their pocket book

Saturday, December 14, 2013

I Know I'm An Alien In This...

An Echo leaf blower costs $159.99.  Their slogan is, "Get Serious."  I am not joking.

(A Declaration):  I will one day be free.

Every day I'm more free than the day before.

Hi, I'm Gary's mustache.  You may have noticed me.  It looks like I've always been combed - because I probably have been.  I very rarely have anything stuck in me.  Every now and then a noticeable droplet of milk hangs off me.  Gary quickly removes that.  He takes good care of me.  He even brushes me when he brushes his teeth.  Gary is a little odd.  But, he treats me well, and I treat him well, too, getting him many ladies who are into a sort of retro-creeper look.  Well, I have to go, Gary is about to drink some orange juice.  It was nice meeting you.  You should talk to my cousin, Melissa's mole sometime, she is quite the character.

People order a "hot oven grinder," but you never hear them order a "cold oven grinder," because that's a grinder that's in a refrigerator.

A caterpillar crossing a highway.


Don't let who you are defeat who you could be.

Sitting by my fire I feel like I've accomplished something.  I'm not sure what, but I did it.

Why are grown men beating their wives?  Why are women killing their unborn children?  Why are parents not taking care of their kids?  Basic human care and decency has been lost.

I plan to earn my death with my life.

Humanity:  Shit, we created disposable, individually wrapped plastic straws.  Do you realize how much that says about us as a people - as a form of life?

I hated having to learn what love wasn't.

You can chase perfection to nothingness.
You can chase love to loneliness.

Society is the wedge that has split humanity apart.

I choose to be poor, but live more.

I want to talk about chef salads.  What is with those?  What is the standard?  What is supposed to come in them?  How can different people put different things in a salad, but still it's considered a chef salad?  Isn't there a universal chef salad?  A Plato's Form of what every chef salad is?  Like if I put anchovies, pancakes, and gummy bears on a salad and said its a chef salad, what could they do about it?  Not a damn thing.

These creatures...they pay people to tell other people what the weather might be instead of just waiting for it.

Only humans bow towards Mecca.

The extent of our care is a bumper sticker.  We don't actually do anything about it.  We don't actually live our lives to reflect it.  But, we make ourselves feel better about it by putting this on our car.  Bumper sticker:  really working for your cause.

It's water under the bridge, but I overheard what you said.

I know I'm an alien in this...

Parallel parking to get your booze.

Some sort of metaphor:  A shadow disappears with light.

She's a waste of time.  The greatest waste one can find.  She's a waste of time, oh yes she is, the greatest waste of all.

Some sort of metaphor:  All clouds hover at the same level.

People watch TV instead of looking out the window of a plane.  I consider it a total waste of something.

How can a napkin ever be considered littering?  How can all these cars not?

Life; find a way to make it work and enjoy it while doing it.

"There's always hope for something different." - Lady at the dog park in Los Angeles.

Many, bordering on most things, are just distractions from who we are.  Distractions from ourselves, from connecting with life in a greater way.

I look out at the ocean from a beach in LA at night and I say, "This is how it's supposed to be."  Then, I turn slightly to the left and see the power plant on the shore with the smoke pouring from the stack, the blinking lights and realize that is how we make it.

I heard a laser hair removal commercial that said, "Wouldn't it be great to never shave again?"  You can already do that.

People say, "I'm starving," as if it's no big deal.  No one who was actually starving ever said it all non-chalant like that.

Time isn't money.  Time is life.  Don't waste it.

A:  Got everything?
B:  I'd forget my balls if they weren't attached to my vagina.

I don't like that a small minority can ruin it for the rest of us.  Why is it like that?

My dad beat my brother Senseless.  What's worse is he named my brother Senseless.

If you're black, it's not called a glove compartment.  It's a gun compartment.

Don't be too naive.  Remember; people build on their own disaster.

I have an abundance.  Don't you see?

I beg these (mainstream) musical artists:  Please, say something!!!

Rules I made up:  White people can never refer to their area code as "the ###."

Heard on radio:  "Minimally invasive spine surgery."  This must be explained to me.

I'll be proud to die because I'm proud to live.

It feels good to stand in the rain knowing close by you have a roof over your head.

Wrap your head around my sexuality, you'd have to be a giraffe and  you still wouldn't be able to smother what I'm open to.

Fecal Matters
As of November 29, 2013, I have 916 total shits for the year.  I need 84 to reach 1,000 for the year.  I have 31 days left.  I need to average 2.70968 spd (shits per day) to get 1,000.  My average spd so far is 2.74251 spd, so at this rate, I will reach it.

Every second is a lifetime.

November 29, 2013:  I saw 4 cars in a row turning into the McDonald's parking lot the day after Thanksgiving.

Don't you want a piece of the past?  I do.  And I want a piece of you, too.  Actually, I want the while thing, I'm so far from full.

My breasts are small and humble so you don't confuse them with the mountains.

Cockels.  Cockels of my heart.

The Dying Nipple:  A Novel.

At this point in time in America, we have the most to be thankful for, but we are some of the least thankful people.

A Book:  The Art of Getting Up A Phlegm.

I'm a white, land owning man in America in the year 2013...(leans back cusping head in hands)...ahhh soak it in.  I've got it too good.

I think I'm dumb, but I'm dumb so I'd most likely be wrong about me being dumb - which would mean I'm smart, but you can't be dumb to understand that.  I'm not sure if I do or not.

According to my 6 year old nephew, I'm actually not a bitch.  I'm a nice, ugly, idiot.

Thanks for reading.


Constipated thoughts
rush out of me
once held back
by a lack of release

I'm a writer now
continuously pushing out ideas
as they come to me

As a man eats
I live
As a man defecates
I write poetry

I'm proud to say
look at this toilet bowl book of poetry I have written
and read my shit

(December 14th 2013)
To Write - and Live

Marvel at mediocrity.

Be able to find magnificence in the mundane.

Electricity, energy where others just can't see or feel it.

Find something close to heaven
in boredom.

Create a masterpiece
from nothing.

Take a feeling
and stretch it into eternity.

See beyond.
Look deeper.
Be open.
Let it flow.

Let no moment be meaningless.

Make every second
a miracle.

(December 12, 2013)

My Cats

My cats are warriors
animals of their own kind-

I'm proud of their ability to adapt - to overcome -
to live nearly on their own

They lived in the woods this summer for months-
only food was left for them

They sit here now
by the fire

They have the ability to relax now-
to enjoy the warmth of the woodstove

I'm proud of my cats-
these warriors, these survivors-
these gentle, loving, individualistic animals

They are more a man
than many of us

(December 11, 2013)
Stop And Watch The Children Grow

Never take your woodstove for granted
the sunshine
your kids
the cats
the cold
the love
your house

Never forget how the day becomes night.
Stand in awe of the mountains.

Never forget
your family
your friends
your loved ones

Always remember
your heat during the winter
the warm meal on the table
the laughter, the love, the sharing

Stop to appreciate
the sex, the emotion, the physicality, life itself

Don't run through and miss
the joy
the simplicity
the way it all works
the tears - good and bad
the time we spend with one another

Don't let it pass by without noticing.

Stop and watch
the children grow
the seed become a plant
the rainfall
the tear from my heart is I write this

Never forget the love
we all share -
this common bond of care
we have for each other

Never forget to let someone know.

(December 8, 2013)

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

My Soul

Words are often wasted.
The people are't focused enough on caring.
Being a neighbor means nearly nothing.
The houses got bigger, the people got further apart.
The TVs got skinnier, the people got fatter.
Our resources but something to be used - abused.
Snow nothing but something we must plow through.
Time something we only attempt to turn into money.
A race to a finish line not worth completing.

Our landscape only roads to get somewhere else.
No here and now anymore-
always running from the moment.

People closer physically, stacked on top of each other in apartments,
but so far apart mentally.

Houses much bigger, but less people living in them.
The rain an annoyance we cover our heads from,
not what provides the availability for our food.

Care thrown away
like the trash we produce piled in heaps.
Moments lost by trying to capture them in pictures.
Life lost by trying to write it all down.
Time wasted by attempting to make money.
Minds fried by the fluorescence
Life drained by the cycle.

The kids don't play outside as often,
there is less area to do so.
Time not truly shared enough.
No community surrounding us-
everything outsourced from somewhere else-
because it is cheaper, because it is easier.

Very few lives truly earned.

We want vacations
but nature doesn't stop.

More money, less trees.
More money, less care.
More money, far many more ways to waste it.
Draining the future.
Taking away what will be.

We have lost something special,
strangled by our wires
cut off by our technology
connected on a larger scale, but we forget what's right in front of us.
We run from it-
distract ourselves from it.

We never stop enough to see the beauty-
too caught up in our man-made creations
to be able to have awe in those which we never could create.

Childlike wonder lost,
replaced with adult pig-headedness.

Thinking we know it all,
unable to accept the idea
that life is greater than who we are.

Unable to accept
that there is a future
and we are accountable for it.

Unable to change our lives accordingly
because it would be too much of a change.

We have it too easy.
We are complacent,
but so much is lost because of it.

We earn so little of us lives with our hands
no longer connected to our homes
our heat
our life
our surroundings
our work
each other.

There is hope and love
moments so untouchable by anything
I cry when thinking about it.

Simple things
like time with my family
sharing life with loved ones.

Why can't it be about that more often?

I don't know about you
but it means too much to me
not to make it happen.


Sunday, September 29, 2013

Stubs Toe On Piece of Wood


Fucking fuck!
Oh, fuck.
Fucking fucker.
Fucking fucker fucking fucked me!
Fucking fuck.
Oh fucking fuck.
Ah, fuck.



Fucking mother fucker!
Fucking motherfucking fucker!

Dialogue With Notes:

Fuck. (surprised reaction)
Fucking fuck! (as in "that really hurt")
Fuck. (hits knee as falls)
Fuck. (hits arm as falls)
Fuck. (thuds on ground)
Oh, fuck. (as in "goddamnit")
Fuck. (as in "I hope no one saw that; I'm embarrassed")
Fucking fucker. (referring to the piece of wood he tripped over)
Fucking fucker fucking fucked me! (as in "the jerk who left the wood there is to blame")
Fucking fuck - (as in "when I see that jerk I'll get him for this")
Oh fucking fuck (as in "and it'll be bad")
Fuck. (sigh as in "what a situation")
Fuck. (laughing a bit; beginning to see the funniness of the situation)
Ah, fuck. (as in "I should calm down and let it go)

[stands up]

Fuck! (as back cracks)
Fucker! (as knee tweeks)
FUCK!!! (terrible neck crank)
Fuck! (notices mud on pants)

[wipes off mud]

Fuck! (that's not dirt - it's dog shit)
Fuck! (as in "and it's on my hands too!")

[starts to walk; stubs toe again]

Fucker! (as in "ouch")
Fucking mother fucker! (falls again)
Fuck. (lying on ground, as in "I'm just gonna give up today.'")
Fucking motherfucking fucker! (as in "but not before I get the guy who left that wood sitting around)

Friday, September 27, 2013

Letters To No One

Dear Tom

Thanks for the ice cube.  I think that's what you sent me in the mail.  I'm not sure, because by the time I got it, it was water, or bleach, I'm not sure.  I drank it anyway.  It had somewhat of a chemically taste to it, but most waster does nowadays.  How have you been?  I've been really sick lately.  Feels like my insides are ripping apart and I keep violently throwing up every two hours.  Probably just a minor cold.  Stay in touch.



Dear Sue

Thanks for the necklace.  It fit great around my penis.

                                                          Yours in love, Stew

Dear Hellen

Hey, you probably can't see, read, or hear this since you are both blind and deaf (not to mention dead).  But anyway, I met you the other day and you were a total bitch.  Just wanted to let you know, I wasn't sure if you could notice.

                          Sincerely, Once A Fan Of People With Double Disabilities

Dear Garden Gnome

You creep me out.  Shit, and I live here.  Imagine what the neighbors think.  Why are you here?  Why did my uncle chain you to the front step like that so you can't be moved?  I gotta stay away from that guy.

                                               Sincerely, John Pitroff


I saw your garden didn't do too well this year. That sucks.  Well, I just got out of jail for stealing computer parts.  Sort of random for someone so anti-technology as myself.  What happened with the garden?  You just suck at producing life?  Your kids are evidence of that fact.  Well, I gotta go - gonna go feed my lovely kids fresh vegetables from our farm.

                                             Sincerely, Randy

P.S. You need any computer parts?

To A Hitman:

I got your number from a friend of a friend of someone I don't really like.  Anyway, I'm looking to employ you for your skillz.  (I wrote that with a "z" cause I heard you are black and wanted to make you feel comfortable by letting you know "I'm down" with your lingo).  I need you to take out my wife.  I don't want her killed though, just injured - slightly.  Any way you can hook it up so she stubs her toe or cuts her fingernail just a bit too close?  She makes me mad, but not mad enough to do anything more severe.  I already tried heating her soup up just a tad too much so she burned her mouth for the day and couldn't really taste food that well for the next few hours, but it was lost on her.  Thanks.


Friday, September 20, 2013

A Little Math

(everything = death) + (death = the unknown) = (everything = the unknown)

a = (german) - g x (e + r + m + n)

Aunt Bobby Joe Sue

Aunt Bobby Joe Sue had the misfortune of parents who couldn’t decide over a name.  Instead of their original plan of a dual involving automatic weapons to decide who would be the one to choose the name, they found peace and were able to agree to just call her both names.  This was never good for her self esteem, as it is hard enough to live with one male name as a girl, never mind two.  It is no wonder she developed sexual problems and went on to become a lesbian.  It didn’t help that her parents also kept her wardrobe consisting solely of dirty overalls and motorcycle jackets.  She  married a man (who was once a woman) named Wilfred Jared.  They had a lot in common, mostly the fact that their parents didn’t know how to name them according to their sex.  A quadruple homicide was in the works involving both, but plans were stifled when, as they said, “Those damn Mendez brothers stole our idea.”  They started a campaign to have the Menendez brothers killed because of their jealousy, and so that I can’t write about them in the year 2010, more than two decades after they are still on the minds of the mainstream American public.

Bobby Joe and Wilfred Jared went on to have a daughter who starred in Disney movies at the age of eight.  She voiced many prominent male figures due to her deep voice which she developed when it was found that she had undescended testicles…and a descended penis.  She was fired from Disney when she was not willing to exploit her underage body on TV and in movies, something which she agreed to when she signed the contract with Disney.

She was still able to find large amounts of fame at a young age, but “Androgynous” as they called her, could never recapture her fame in her later years.  She went on to work at Wal-Mart as a greeter but was fired when she didn’t pay attention during the interview and told the entering shoppers to, “Get the fuck out of here!”  Being fired from Wal-Mart was not the end for Andro-genius (a nickname she developed due to her love of Albert Einstein), but a shopping cart was.  She was killed in a drive by shopping cart shooting by a high end member of the popular Crip gang when he mistook her for the son of a KKK leader.  She was wearing a white robe and a pointy white hat at the time of her death.  The service consisted of something I am too drained to think of, although I am sure it was overly hilarious and creative.

If If is If is If If if If is if only if If is If is If If If is not if if If is not If If is If only if If is If If if is is if is not if if is is if only when is is is then if is if if is is is.

Thursday, September 12, 2013


Wednesday, September 11, 2013

People Should Be Better To Each Other

People should be better to each other.

It seems their lives are too fast paced to care.

Too caught in their own confusion
to see their mistakes.

Too destroyed by their own vices
to notice what they are doing to one another.

People should be better to each other.

One must stop and take the time to notice this
but its too quickly on to the next
without seeing what it is
we lost.

People should be better to each other
but it’s so much easier
to go rushing through our lives
never noticing how we treat one another.

People should be better to each other
should slow down enough to notice
should stop enough to care
should take the time enough to reflect
to love
to come to find someone else.

People should be better to each other
but we are so caught up in our own lives
attaining our own goals
acting selfishly, sometimes without even seeing it.

People should be better to each other
but we are moving so quickly
towards nothing
leaving each other behind
in our steps toward nothingness.

People should be better to each other
but we are so damn caught up
with the dollar
with time
with knowing that time can equal money
that we mow over our own existence
we glide past our own lives
attempting to get something.

People should be better to each other.

They deserve it.

We do.

People should be better to each other.

Too much is lost.  Not enough love is shared.

People should be better to each other.

All it takes is time.


You can’t sell
what’s in my mind-
how I see things
otherwise this view here
of the sky
as I lie here looking up
would make me forever wealthy-
in fact-
it has.

(9/9/13 at The Land)

Sunday, September 1, 2013


You can only stand at the top of Mount Everest for moments.

Just ask Nietzsche,
who fell further than he had ascended.

The life of a madman,
who climbed the highest peaks
(of self)
But tried to/wanted to remain at the top

It’s an impossibility to
be so high when you are so deep.

But remember,
some of the mountain tops
were once depths of the sea.

(Friday March 19, 2010)
In Case You Ask

I know my answer
and my answer for you
is that
you have to find
your own

(Tuesday July 13 2010)

Saturday, August 31, 2013

Let’s Dance

Let’s dance

Let’s dance together
just because we can
just because we are here
just because the opportunity is alive

Let’s dance
to the tune of what we feel

Let’s dance
simply because we have been given the chance.

(August 28, 2013)

Come as you are and take me as I am.

Recent Mental Vomit

Bullying will never be stopped, it’s just a part of life, so stop trying, you overly sensitive pacifist dorks.

sandbox:  a condition women get when they go to the beach.

Stop.  Think about what you have.  Be thankful, grateful, appreciate it.  Stop.  Don’t think about anything else.  Really think about what you have.  Don’t dwell on what you don’t.  If this doesn’t work, minimize your life and simplify.  The less you have, the more you appreciate.

Too many times, I bite my tongue and swallow my pride.  My soul is starting to drown.

I’m a superior creature.  I use an umbrella.

What do you want to be when you grow up?  Free.
What do you want to be when you grow up?  Nothing.
What do you want to be when you grow up?  What I am.

I want anarchy, dammnit!  (I at least want some people who are at least mildly pissed off at how it is and who are willing to do something about it)

There is mystery all around you, at all times.  How much of it are you in awe of?

Out there, there is money to be made.  Out here, this is life to be enjoyed.

I could never give up hope, because I know that there is still a kid somewhere selling lemonade by the side of the road.

Anything that kills me doesn’t make me stronger.

Midgets; proof that nature has a sense of humor.  I saw a midget and I thought, “Damn, god is a funny fucker.”

Call it nature, call it god, call it the spirit, call it the universe, call it life itself.  It’s all the same thing.  The name doesn’t change the essence of it.

I could spend my life making money or I could spend it living life.

They only own us because we let them; because we wanted the convenience of a certain way of life.

A list:
walk to land
nails - Qtips
money from work
shave nuts

People I Can Do Without: Fat people who always say, “I’m starving.”

As a kid, I knew I was a different.  I didn’t know I was this different.

A softball isn’t that soft when you stick it up your ass.

People won’t shit outside because it is “unsanitary” and we live in a so called advanced, civilized society.  But, we drive our cars around everywhere, poisoning the very air we breathe.

It’s not necessarily about how much money you have, but it can easily be about how much you don’t.

What are the qualifications for art being observed on a large scale?  Are there any?

You ever Skype with a friend?  It’s so lame.  After five minutes it’s like, “Well, I don’t want to look at your ugly face anymore, call me on the phone, douche.”

To us now, nature is only the backdrop.  I want it to be the forefront.

There is a company called, “Indian Motorcycle” that makes motorcycles.  Yeah, cause that’s what they were about.

Does the world really need robots?  I doubt it.

Mowing the lawn is a waste of time, energy, money, resources, and life.  All so it looks good to impress neighbors and to dominate our living environment.  What a waste of gas and clean air.

For some reason, I don’t think cows are behind the, “Beef - It’s What’s For Dinner” ad campaigns.

Something in me thinks that if I eat pumpkin seeds I should somehow shit out a pumpkin.  That would be cool.

Smile, you are probably on camera right now.  Either that, or flip them off.  Personally, I’d go with mooning.

You wanna see God?  He’s on my ass.  I say this in all seriousness.

I don’t know anyone truly poor.  Really.  Do you?  Look around.  Do you see anyone?  Here I don’t.  I see people who don’t realize or appreciate what they have.

There is a website called chataboutjesus.com

Sometimes, you are a cat and life gives you a mouse to play with.

"Before my death, I wish to obtain my life." Bukowski

Thanks for reading.

Friday, August 30, 2013

Dear Humanity,

Dear humanity, you could be so much better to each other
so much better to your environment
so much better to yourself
so much better to life

Dear humanity
at times I see sparks of greatness
even at times enough in a life to feel goodness and hope

Dear humanity
why can’t you be like that more often?

Why, on a larger scale, do you not to seem to care about your fellow man?
About your air?  About your water?  About your planet?  About life itself?

Is it that easy to get caught up on survival?
Is it that easy to get distracted on convenience?
Is it the chase for the dollar, which signals survival, what gets us lost?

When must you step back, humanity, and become individuals
who care about one another
who care about their neighbor, their family, their children, their future?

What will it take?

Or is it too easy now?

Is survival something we barely even earn?

Do we even deserve what we have been given
especially to know
how little we appreciate it?

Dear humanity
I have faith in you
I have faith in the love people feel for one another
in the look in the eyes of my nephews and nieces as they grow

As I watch the children - the next generation
I know
it is up to us now
to do what we know is right
for their future
for the future of the planet
for the future of life itself

Dear humanity
lets do something.

(8/27/2013 1:00 AM)

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Tonight, as I was driving, I looked toward the sky, seeing the sun at the crest of the beautiful green mountains about to set and I yelled out my open window, "Thank you!"  The guy in the car with me looked at me wondering who the hell I was yelling at.  Not many people would understand something like that, but if you saw what I saw, if you appreciated it in a similar way that I do, you would have had no other choice but to do the same thing yourself.  I told him I was yelling to anything, to "god," to life itself.  I hope something heard me, I hope that feeling was felt.

Thank You

Thank you.  Thank you for the food.  For the quiet.  For my life.  For the animals.  For the sky, the clouds, fire, my blueberry bush.  Thank you for the wood, for the heat, for the seasons, for the wind, for the water, for the sun.  Thank you.  Thank you for my nephews, and my nieces.  Thank you for my friends, and my family.  Thank you for the ability, the chance, the drive, the opportunity.  Thank you for the warmth.  For talent, for love, for life, even for death.  For the ones no longer here, for the cycle, for the planet, for how it all works, for the gasoline and all the types of fuel, for my car, and those that help along the way, for a good neighbor.  For knowledge and the ability to pass it on.  For writing, for basketball, for wrestling, for my passion.  For the tools big and small, for the cats and dogs, for the streams, the paths, the unmade ones, for the chance to do your own thing.  For freedom, for the music, for the song of the birds, for the memories, and the lessons learned.  For a chance, for the support of those who help.  For the look on my nephews face when I visit him.  For the chance to share it all.  For work, for the money, for the time - oh the time, so much thank you for the universe, the mystery, the simplicity yet complex way it all is.  Thank you for the people, thank you for the creativity, for the ability - or the want to stop and be thankful.  Thankful for all these things I have, and the ones yet to be.  Thank you for the skills, the resources, the fun, the love, the pain, the sex, the joy, the sadness,  Thank you for the flame on the wic of the candle at night.  Thank you for the bad and what I have learned from it.  Mainly for the chance just to be alive, to have the chance to live and be lucky enough to have my life the way it is.  For the town and the way people can have each others back.  For the land, for the beauty.  For the art.  For the mastery of survival we have learned.  For the simply things and how to appreciate them.  For the devotion.  For my mom, dad, Ape, Liz, James, Nik, Ella Eris, Don, my gram, aunts, uncles, cousins.  For Jared, Niles, Kyle, Alex, Chris, Joe, Frank.  For all the friends and family I've ever had.  For the ability to travel.  For the doctors and the care.  For the way friends's families have treated me as their own.  For Linda, Jackie, Bobby, Susan, Janet, Joyce, who have all taught me how to be something to look up to.  For all of it.  For the way it is.  For my own life, and the chance to be alive and enjoy it.  Thank you anything.  Thank you all things.



Somewhat Depressing Poems (But Real)

As The Rain Hits The Roof

Sometimes I think
we either run through life
or run away from it -
and I just wish
it wasn't like that.

(May 2013)

The News

"What's wrong with the world?" I was asked.
"People.  People don't love each other anymore," I responded.
Then, I started to cry.

(3rd week of May 2013)


The years - circumstance
have bled my care to nearly nothing
but I hope I still have the ability
to cry

(July 4, 2013)

Life's Dawn

As the sun goes down
I am sad

It's haunting what can come

(or won't)

(August 6, 2013)


Hope closes in
as the years pile up
and you still don't have
what you've always wanted

(mid August 2013)

Even a daily miracle gets old.

Middle-Aged Tits

If only magic were manufacturable.

I can't believe nature has let us survive this long.

I would recognize you from any angle.

The world is as real as pro wrestling.

There is something more important than your life.  Life itself.

On a scale of 1 to 10 how stupid are you?

When I look at the other options women have, I laugh.  When I see the ones they choose anyway, I somewhat (pity) blame them.

They laughed at me because I tried, as if it was some sort of character flaw to give what you have.

Don't live for now.  Live for ever.  Don't live as if this is the only time there is, live as if there is forever upcoming and we must preserve it for that.  Don't live for now.  Live for ever.

All shit is similar.

The kids look at me with wonder.  Tell your son he may look like me one day.  I didn't plan this shit either.

  1. Don't waste.
  2. Appreciate.

If we could text god, we probably wouldn't.  Many of us don't pray to thank anything.

I'd convict anyone named Jacquice.

I don't hang around with people who feel it necessary to talk in hushed tones.

It's easy to remember the bad.  The good in people will surprise as much as the bad, you just have to see it.

You may think I'm an idealist who is searching for something that doesn't exist, but I'm okay with that.

Middle-aged tits.

Heard on the radio:  "The prestige of a world record eating championship."

I still have an amber of hope that can burn down a forest of reality.

"Do you know you live in a shed?" my niece Ella at 3 1/2.

The mosquito is deadlier than the bear.

When the smoke clears from the fire humans have created, there will be nothing left.

My idealistic hope is slowly being washed away by reality, as a mark in the sand at the seashore slowly fades away.  I still hold on.  But time can only hold so long before an idea is eroded away by what really is.

Does it bother anyone else that resigned and re-signed have opposite meanings?

Someone lives in a house.  They die.  They put a sign out front.  The house is for sale.

I had a nose bleed the other day.  Good thing, I was late.  I thought my nose might have been pregnant.  I don't need any nostril children right now.

The houses got closer, the people got further apart.

The houses get bigger, but less people lived in them.

Magnificent Mediocrity.

There is no greater sacrilege to art than a book of poems and no reason for it being.

You couldn't write music sad enough to understand the tone I am going for.

Society:  the wheels are spinning, but we aren't moving.

Quiet confidence.  Silent genius.

Honey:  one of the better tasting vomits.

I'm not really sure where this one came from but I liked it:  In high school, you were the little slut who liked to get fucked by the star athlete so everyone would think you were cool.  Now, you dress in short skirts and go to the package store to buy your alcohol.  You'll go home and get drunk, trying to forget that your daughter turned out exactly like you - she too was the high school whore who loved to get fucked by the cool athlete everyone knew.  She needs that type of attention.  You are too busy going to the tanning booth so you can show off your legs in that skirt while you go get your booze.  You are too old to be trying so hard to look good.  Your poor daughter is turning out the same way.

When I was a kid, I said a bar of soap, so my mom washed my mouth out with a swear word.

The flames of hell shoot toward heaven.

"Intelligence is the execution of knowledge."

I'm proud to be a nut slapping, asshole picture taking gay wad.

Every religion is an opinion.  This is an opinion, and my religion.

I've got food, I've got a job, my pets heads aren't falling off!

Thanks for reading.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Quite Frankly

I don't think most people tried hard enough
and quite frankly
neither did I

(January 31, 2013)

A Call To Our Generation

As adults, it is our responsibility to remain focused on the future so that our children and future generations inherit the best possible Earth to live on and with.  If we fail to do our best for this, we fail our children and coming generations.  It is our duty.  We know better.  We are no longer children.  It is on us if we don't make it happen.  We must cut overuse of resources - otherwise there will be none left for the future - none for our children's children and their children's children.  We can't be selfish   We must move towards this.  This is our responsibility   It is our time.  We aren't children, we are aren't yet too old.  We have and have been given the ability, the chance, the opportunity, Let's not squander it.  Let's make this the best possible place for our kids so they have clean air, food, water, and resources to live with.  Most of all, a sustainable way of life for them.

Would you wear a pair of shoes out so badly that the soles are missing, then pass them on to your child when they become an adult and expect them to thrive?  It doesn't work like that.  We need a little self sacrifice, a lot of effort and total focus on this.  Let's stop being so selfish.

No one is perfect.  This won't happen overnight.  We all have our ways we are contributing to the negativity of this.  But, let's make it our life's work.  Instead of trying to be rich and having tons of money and a big house, let's make sure we are focused on passing on a better world to the next group that are coming up.  If we fail in this, we have failed as adults, as mothers, fathers, uncles, and aunts.  Let's take the necessary steps.  It won't be easy.  It will take sacrifice and a changing of our way of life - but it is necessary.  It has to happen.

Let's be the generation who knew better and did something about it rather than the generation who knew better and squandered the chance, who wasted the opportunity, who didn't care enough, who didn't try hard enough to make something extremely important happen.

John Pitroff May 23, 2013 28 years old.

My biggest mistake was not caring.

My second - thinking people had to.

(January 16, 2013)
Even as an adult, I still feel as though childhood idealism has a place.

My sisters three year old daughter
fell asleep cuddled up with her
during a thunderstorm


How Many Sunsets Have You Missed?

Don't squander your chance.

They said, "Count your blessings" but I can't count to infinity.

Why did we give funeral rights over to priests - people who didn't even know the person who died?

Stop being impressed by the things people can do and be more impressed by the things they can't.

Life it totally open and free.  Society is the trap.  Find a way to fight out.

My shit numbers don't add up.  This is not good.  My daily shit calendar has me at 359 for the year, my texting shit count has me at 355.  That's a four shit discrepancy.  (Yes, I said my daily shit calendar).

Mowing the lawn:  We ruin the air while killing the grass (all so that our lawn "looks good.")

Not caring enough to keep up with the Jones'.

Like a cat chasing a moth, I play with life.

Kids don't understand death; adults just think they do.

There are a few real people left.

I still believe a house is too big if it needs a doorbell.

Life is to be enjoyed, not ran through.

Too many excuses.

Smelling the bottom of my cat Larry David's paw makes me feel as though the world will be alright.

How many sunsets have you missed?  ...Sad isn't it?  Too busy working?  Too busy making money?  Watching TV?  How many sunsets have you missed - and how many sunrises?

To get rich at the expense of life itself.

A parade of parades, forever going by.

My five year old nephew James gave me the nickname "Weirdo Nature."  If you read any of this shit, I'm sure you can tell why.

Man, if I could just eat twigs to survive, I wouldn't have a fucking job.

I just realized I pay all my cats' bills.

I've been peeing in the same jar for the last two years.  Thank you.

God is not on my side, he's on my ass.

A primitive mindset.

Be in awe of the mystery.

Love is only a memory at this time.
I'm too affected by the past.

It's pathetic how far we've come from where we came.

Walt Disney's new feature film, "The Early Years of Hitler."

I have no time for small talk, my ideas are too big.

My bowels moved, but they still live in the same neighborhood.

Some sort of metaphor:  In an avalanche, the only thing that survives is the snow itself.

Salamanders don't need indoor plumbing.

It's not about wanting more, it's about needing less.

All I want to be when I grow up is free.

Money can't save the world, a way of life can.

The New Walmart

It was 80 degrees out.  One of the nicest days since spring had recently hit.  May 7th.  It was a long, cold winter, stuck inside much of the time.  Think of it.  Finally nice enough to be outside comfortable enjoying it.  The new Walmart was opening.  70-100 people like cattle slowly plodding their way into the new Walmart, starring up at the fluorescent - totally in awe, totally impressed.  What a sad thing humanity has become.  This is all this town had to talk about - all anyone I knew was mentioning - it was on the pulse of every mind around here - "Oh, the new Walmart.  Have you been to the new Walmart?"  Etc.  I saw all these people plodding into the fluorescent existence on that 80 degree day, like cattle being shuffled into slaughter, eyes gazed in amazement at this.  All this in the North Adams, Adams, Massachusetts area.  Is that all this town has?  The fucking new Walmart?  Is that the extent of it? C'mon people.  We can do better than this.  We have more to offer life than this.  We have such a beautiful area - and it was all just starting to bloom, but Walmart was at the forefront of the collective conscious.  Mount Greylock, in all its wonder and beauty was right there all along, in the background, literally and figuratively, of the new Walmart.  We need to stop being impressed with the things humans do and be more impressed with the things they can't.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Hope coupled with realism, plus a ton of effort.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Thank you.

I am thankful.  Family, friends, love, care.  Heat, warmth, food, space, people, the land, the air, the trees, my cats, animals, water, shelter, hope, life itself.  My health, the health of those I love, physical abilities, mental wherewithal.  Nephews, nieces, friend's kids, opportunity, money, time, chances, a way, intelligence, knowing, laughter,  jokes, time with those I love, realism, women, men, old people, young, the ground I stand on, those who make it possible, the way it is, how it works, the stars, wonder, amazement, people, beauty, realism, truth, you, learning, sacrifice, mistakes, drive.  Thank you.  Reflection.  Thank you.  I am grateful and truly blessed.
Choose wisely who you listen to.

Circumcision And Seven Dollar Cards

Don't spit in the face of the the mystery by acting like you know.

"Put food on the table" has now become "put cable on the TV."  This is where our money goes.

Circumcision and seven dollar cards; reasons I will never understand this culture.

I hung up on Mormons.

My cats said you are a fag.  My nephews said you are an idiot.

Cheesist:  Racist against cheese products.

Hello there faget
You're such a little fag boi
Ha Ha you queermo

the silent cat sleeps
peaceful yet a warrior
a tamed savage love

let's eat some hot dogs
and kill us a few queermos
yes, now we're cool dudes

Sometimes I ignore the mountains to count my money.

I'm lucky, man.  I don't deserve it.  I don't know if anyone does.

We dry humped, and that was the extent of it.

The bottom of my cat Larry David's paws are black with ash from the pellet stove.

If I ever "entertain guests" as opposed to have friends and family over the house, someone kill me.

I was at a funeral, and during the sermon, you could hear the beeping of a truck backing up at a construction site outside.

Mortality lasts forever.

Do you see what I am doing?  Attempting to do?  Really think about it.  Do you see the effort I am putting in?  Do you see my point - my goal - where I would like to be, and why?  Look me in the eye.  Tell me.  Do you see what it is that I am doing?  Moving towards?  Striving for?  Don't you see it?

(After seeing a commercial for bottled water) Oh, man, it's at the point where they have to try to sell (the idea of) water to people.

Closing my eyes to your designer sunglasses.

We destroy an old tree to find out how long it has lived, so we can be impressed.

I was told I couldn't.  So I did.

There are no stars.  What you think about that?

Opportunity.  Time.  Drive.  What can you make happen?

Right now, somewhere, some guy is sitting on a couch showing a girl porn on his cell phone.

I liked being young and not knowing any better.

Humans:  the only creature that needs poetry.

People are poison and the antidote is themselves.

My mom told me I smelled.  I was somewhat proud of that.  I'm not sure why.

When I die, I wish for Mark Henry's theme music circa 2012 to be played at my funeral as they roll the casket into where the people are.

Is it worth it to rush like we do?

It is very freeing to wonder to yourself, "What time is it?"  Then to think, "I don't care."

Stop enough to be thankful.

Thanks for reading.

Something far worse
than not having what you want
is not truly wanting what you have
but lacking the courage
to change that.

(March 2013)
The Core

There are few we truly love
yet many we meet
and I live my life
for those special people-
and nearly nothing else matters
to me

Find the highest use of all things.

Crap (More Of It)

Tourists - what a sad, sad term.

I'm not trying to live forever, I'm just trying to live right now.

I watch the sun go up and come down and I am happy.

I like places where your money is no good and your time doesn't matter.

When you have it all, you can waste anything.

Go ahead, idiot, assimilate.

Don't hide behind your skirt by calling it a kilt.

Still a stupid drunk.

Some sort of metaphor:  Every airplane starts on the ground.

Have you ever seen a cat eat spaghetti?  It's hilarious.

If I was told I had to do a peer evaluation, my only choice would be to look in the mirror and say, "Yeah, you're still the man."

Like an untouched tree in the forest, don't bother me.

Not only do leaf blowers exist, but people pay landscapers to come to their house and blow their leaves off their lawn.

Any man claiming to have never sinned already has, because he is a liar.

Whiskey at noon.

I miss you and you aren't even gone.

I saw a mobile home with two kayaks in the yard.  Something is not right about that.

You aint nothing but a lock  You're just a wheel in a disintegrating system.  How does it taste?  All that pride you have to swallow.  When the machine says jump, you ask, "How high?"  Hop little corporate bunny, hop.

In America, there are very few people they don't own.

I was at the land with this girl and I kissed her.  "Am I the first woman you kissed here?" she asked.  "Yeah," I said, but I was lying.

I wonder - why do we move away from each other - away from the ones we love?

Be bigger than your culture.
Live small.  Play big.

I sometimes wonder what you are doing
then I realize you didn't care
so why should I?

But I do.

(March 4, 2013)
Enjoy the wonder.
A Tune

I don't have any love songs left in me.

The Ultimate Beauty

I might never find it
but I'll  never give up.

To Be Truly Alive

I'm like a log that just lays around in the sunshine.
It feels right.
Not having anything to do, taking it in - feeling the breeze.

To be truly alive doesn't take much -
just the time to appreciate it.


Sunday, May 5, 2013

A Prayer

Thank you anything.

Thank you all things.

Life is a book.  Memories are the aphorisms.
Do you know what it's like to do nothing?

To look outside to the varying green of the pines?

To hear nothing but what is - silence unattainable in most places.

Little movement - bugs, my hand as I write this.

The splash of colors in the sky as the sun goes behind the mountains.

To have a peace like this is uncommon now, because of the way we live, because of the fast paced way we have made it, because of the concrete and machinery.

I sit and I watch the sun go down, and I am happy.

I hear animals howling in the distance, I see the dark slowly taking over as it turns to night.

To be able to slow down in such a way - I am so thankful - thankful to something, anything, all things, for how it is - how it can be.

To have the time to appreciate such a thing - away from the bright lights, away from the constant noise, the constant rush, the forever race to nowhere.

I am thankful for moments like this - 
thankful to nature and all its beauty we rush through and never see
thankful to those around me, loved ones, family, friends
thankful to life itself for letting me be a small part of an infinite idea.

To be not held down by a clock, not thinking in seconds, but rather - seasons.

The days are longer than we give them credit for when we live in the cities.
So much to get done, so many things to do-
but more than enough time to do it.

This quiet, calm serenity is unexplainable in words,
to only hear the click of the pen as it pushes against the table
a plane high in the distance reminds me of a world so far away from here - 
physically, but even more so emotionally - mentally.

I sit and I write - I reflect what there is - what I see, feel, hear - and I can't do it justice.

Life like this simply has to be lived.

(May 5, 2013 7:53 pm)