Saturday, December 31, 2011

Never Forget

Never forget.

Never forget everything you have ever had.

Everything you have ever shared.

Never forget.

Never forget.

Never forget all of it that was.

Never forget all the moments together.

Never let it just fade.

Never forget.

Never forget.

(12/31/2011 10:32 am)
A: What day is it?
B: A day there has never been before and never will be again.
Give it time.


It Must Be

Is regrowth beautiful enough to warrant death? It must be.

Are the smile on the faces of my nephews and niece enough
to warrant the death of my grandmother
and all the emotion that comes with that?

The torch must be passed.

There is no way to hold back life
nor death

It is only a cycle
that continues on

Would I trade this for that
or would I come to learn
how to be more rich full of experiences and life
because of how it all was?

Is the spring great enough
to endure the winter?

Are the buds of a new season
worth the frozen landscape for months?

Is the old passing on
a reason
that the new are able to develop?

I say yes

I say
it is all worth it

(12/29/2011 11:30 pm)

Friday, December 30, 2011


I would give it all
once again
even after giving so much
many times
and getting nothing back

I would still give it all
even with the knowledge
of how it can end up

I would give it all
this instant
for some sort of love

I would give it all
even though I know the other side of that

I am not scared
I do not fear in the way

I would give it all
right now

I wouldn’t hold back
if I found someone
worth giving it to

Is it you?

(12/26/2011 8:42 pm)
An Abomination

What has happened
to this great, open beautiful country
with stretches of green
mountains of trees
rivers, streams, lakes, oceans?

What happened?

It must have been greed.

The malls went up
where the forests once were

The streets started to carve out the land
instead of the rivers doing so

What happened here?

It must have been greed.

Even the sky is polluted, somehow.

What happened to the vast open areas of nothingness
leaving humans with the ability to think?

What happened to the land as the land
and not some unused blacktopped parking lot caged in with fences?

That must be greed.

We just aren’t a good people.

Much like the slaves
we have shackled the very thing around us
mistreating it because we can

We tie it down
beat it up
rip it apart
abuse it
ruin it
because we can-
because we feel as though it is our right
to do so

But we are only killing ourselves in the end
only killing a part of us
that brings us closer to who we are

An abomination of life
slavery was to the humans
what we are now to the land

(12/7/2011 1:34 pm)

Thank You

Thank you god. Thank you whatever. Thank you life. Thank you something. Thank you for this life. Thank you for blessing me with it. Thank you for making it so good. Thank you. My life is a gift that has been given to me. I am truly lucky. Thank you to those around me, those that have always been there. Family, friends, loved ones. Thank you.

I see neon amongst the trees
billboards secured into the mountains
rivers still running - but now through concrete spillways.

People living, but missing so much life
by not being connected to the Earth of which they are

(12/6/2011 hot dog ranch)
Young Love

To be young and in love
or at least naïve enough to think it is so-
but I’ve yet to come to a feeling like that

(12/7/2011 around 1 am)
Realness In The Eye Of Change

What do you do?
You attempt to enjoy your life
and go with the way it goes

You can’t attempt to fight
it is tough
to come to learn to accept
but you have to

Death can do that to you

It can change you that much - for the better

You can’t pretend it is some way
that it isn’t-
that type of thing
comes back around
in the end

You can’t make something
that truly isn’t

I mean
you might be able to
one cannot be free
caging oneself
to such a lie

You can’t pretend
You can’t make it be
You can’t make it something
that it isn’t

Realness is far more important than stability
Truth supersedes settlement
Going with a passion
going with your heart
is above the greatest
that money can buy

in the eye of change

(12/3/2011 3:43 pm)

Kids on scooters
going down hills
as free as a bird in the sky
but they just don’t know it -
does anyone?

(mid December 2011 Bienek Ave)
People Aren’t As Close As They Should Be

People aren’t as close as they should be

Even those who are together
don’t really share
nearly close to everything
that they are

There is a good façade

Relationships, girlfriend, boyfriends, wives
but it doesn’t go to much more than a label

Together for everyone to know
but they know
they aren’t

People come into each others lives
for a certain amount of time-
never really long enough

Relationships fail
people just don’t know how to be together,
how to share themselves with another

Something is lost here
Something is lost here

Sadness, loneliness

A fake idea
A fake reality of life

(11/21/2011 1:48 pm)
People I Can Do Without:

Anyone who orders pizza delivery for their dog.
Anyone who stops and says, “Wait, let me put my bling on first” right before sex.
Anyone who can spell “inconvenience” but not “convenience.”
Anyone who uses being deaf as an excuse for being cheap.
Anyone whose mind is usually on The Muppets.
People who write out “Gulp” when explaining a story.
Overweight people who site eating as a “passion” of theirs.
Any parents who agree to name their baby “herb.” As in “Herbs & Spices.”
Anyone who wears high heels to Wal-Mart.
The Black Hole

The way it is
the way it could be
creates a gap
so large
if one were to attempt to write about it
they will find
they can’t

(11/15/2011 3:16 pm)
Did You Forget?

Did you forget how beautiful the mountains are?
How vast the sky is?
How deep the oceans go?
How much love one can have for another?

Did you forget it’s all worth it
in the end
or even now?

Unexplainable Tears

Getting so close to touching something
something more than this
something greater than any of it
some sort of emotion
by anything


Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Some Sentences

You might be following, but look behind you - you are also a leader.

A: What time is it?
B: Forever.

I hope you appreciate this phone call - I’m getting cancer because of it.

If you think of how far you have to get, it can seem too long. Once you get there, it seemed to happen so fast.

If there were no critics, then there would be no need to prove them wrong.

There is always something serious behind the laughter.

Let your mind wander. You might get lost, but you can always come back to who you are.

We live longer but don’t live as much.

I had a dream last night that I lost you
then I realized
I never had you
to begin with

I had a dream that I was dancing with my gram. She died more than a year ago now. In the dream, I was slow dancing with her and I was crying. She asked me why I was crying. “Just thinking about when I’ll be dancing with only an idea.” You have to learn to dance alone, I guess.

Something someone once told me: “I haven’t vomited since I was 10.”

I bought a jump rope. There were instructions with it.

Anything any environmentalist has ever said was already said by the Indians. Plus, they lived it.

Real + Apart > Fake + Together

If not now, then when?
At the right time.

A pessimist is just someone who sees the optimism in being one.

If we don’t fix our present the future will be a thing of the past.

If pedestrians always have the right of way, then every road is a sidewalk. You can just walk down the middle of the street and that is legal.

Elmo can’t stop terrorism.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Rebel your entire life - there are a lifetimes worth of things to rebel against.

If you really hate jury duty that much, you can always murder someone, go to jail, and not have to partake in it. See, there are always options.

So many moments missed by rushing through them.

The sun even sets on forever.

Art should never be work. It’s the opposite of that.

Wanna pogo with me? Or hacky it up?

One of those bitter cold days that makes you realize it’s all worth it. One of those days that stings you with coldness so much that you have no choice but to realize just how alive you really are.

The neon depression.

I’ve got all the time in the world to do nothing.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Looking In A Mirror

Is this who you are?

Is this what you are meant to be?

Is this what you thought you would become?


I was just a kid once
and I lost her-
my gram

I’m an adult now
and it doesn’t change a thing

I still miss her
more than anything can say

I only hope I one day see her again


Eventually, I Want To Shit Outside

You know how people remember where they were when JFK was shot or on 9/11? I remember where I was the first time I watched South Park. That shit was far more important to me.

Being lost can be nice because it leaves the possibility open of being found, which is an amazing feeling. Being lost might be better than always knowing where you are because when you are lost and then found, it makes it even more amazing, it makes you appreciate it more.

Another reason I can’t stand Will Smith: His daughter.

No matter how cool you are otherwise, if you like Willow Smith in any way, it supersedes everything else about you and makes you lame.

I’m a vegetarian, I aint got no beef.

Words are so plain and that is what makes them so amazing. It is unexpected they can give so much emotion. Thin black words typed on a white sheet. And, they can be moving, meaningful, strong. Such a simple thing they are, but so complex in what they can do, what they can facilitate.

Say what’s in your heart. Share your soul.

The young healthy jerk-off became an old sick fuck.

I don’t ask what your feelings are because I’m afraid of what they might be.

Just because it’s all you’ve known doesn’t mean it’s all that you have to.

Sugarcoated Holocaust. Honey-dipped 9/11.

Attempting to sugarcoat the Holocaust. Dipping 9/11 in honey. Putting a cherry on top of Hiroshima & Nagasaki. Laugh track over the massacre of the Indians. Smiley face drawn over suicide. Chocolate covered abortion. Look at that sparkling clean mass genocide!

Regarding iPhones, 3G, 4G, etc: If you need the internet everywhere you go, you have problems.

If only I could somehow teach my cats to go to the fridge and grab me a beer, things would be much better in this moment.

Babylon: Something I tend to do a lot.

Emotion is wasted when it’s not shared.

I don’t care if I don’t agree with your opinion, if you are an artist and you are laying it on the line by speaking your heart, I totally respect what you are doing.

When you can no longer tell the difference between what is being satirized and what is reality, it’s time to stop laughing and get serious.

No one really knows anything. They are just repeating shit they heard. And, that shit they heard was heard from someone else who didn’t know anything who was just repeating it from someone else who didn’t know anything.

A lot started going wrong at about the same time that people started thinking that they needed to shower every day.

I was watching a video and I realized both people in it who were talking to each other were dead. A conversation between two dead guys.

Some people could have all the money in the world and they still wouldn’t be rich.

Instead of the parents raising the kids, I think the kids, at times, should be raising the parents. Actually, I think sometimes that is what happens.

I deliver to a guy who lost both of his legs in an accident last winter. On the way out going back to my car, I started thinking: I have legs. Sometimes I forget that. They work. Awesome. I forget how good I have it.

I am an animal. I am a savage beast. I want to be a totally free savage animal beast. I am that at my core. I want to be like that more. I am that. I want to be that as much as I can be. I want to be the animal that I am. I am an animal. There is no denying it. I am a savage. I am like a dog, like a cat, or a bear. I am a lion, I am an eagle, I am a rhinoceros. I am an animal, but they call my species human. I am just an animal labeled a human. Don’t get it confused. I am more animal than human. It is more of my base.

You don’t find style like this in a salon.

Style is in the soul and therefore cannot be stolen. It is something deeply personal that no one can get to - EVER.

We have confused need and want. Totally. We have melded it into one thing when it is actually two totally different things. We have let them overlap, let them become one thing. We have totally forgotten the difference between need and want.

Eventually, I want to shit outside.

Imagine if I went to a job interview and was totally honest. “Where do you see yourself in 10 years?” “Hopefully shitting outside.” “You aren’t quite what we are looking for.”

For the generation before me, it was a “blow job.” For mine, it was “getting head.” I wonder what it will be for the next one.

You have to live on with the legacy you leave the world. You live on in the legacy of the ones you love who knew you, who remember you, who pass on some of you to someone else.

I play soul music with just my words. I play soul music without any instruments. I just sing the song of my soul onto the page through my words. Musical, isn’t it?

People always mention “ice cold beer.” That is a chunk of beer ice.

I was at a bar, and a Train song came on. Then, I had a realization. Fuck. I like Train. Godamnit.

Diddler on the roof. Get him down from there, this is a neighborhood, people can see him.

There are two TVs in the bathroom of the Mountain Club, a bar in Adams. It has come to this. And, they are behind the toilet, so that only time you can watch them is if you are pissing. You can’t see them if you are taking a shit. Wow.

Wal-Mart first of the month! Pizza House on the third! Broke by the fourth!

I know you from somewhere - don’t I?

Thanks for reading, John.
The goal is not the only part of the journey.
The Law Of Motion

Birds are better than airplanes
feet moving forward better than wheels on a car doing the same
earning something much more rewarding
than having something do it for you

The struggle
is part of the success
that makes it worth it

The time put in
what is given back
when something is accomplished

The days go by
and we forget to realize them

Sleeping through sunrises
working through sunsets

It is so easy to forget
all that there is
to remember

(12/7/2011 2:04 pm)
It is small steps toward nothingness. I am crawling toward simplicity.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Only The Finest

A woman puts a beautiful tablecloth out. Hand-stitched, white, and with an immaculate design that took weeks to make, she fans it into the air and it neatly lands on the table. Then, she makes her way around the solid oak chairs, fixing all the corners and rubbing it down so as to make it lie flat.

She goes over to the display case, and finds her most expensive China dishes. Although they are not dirty, she puts them in the dishwasher which is otherwise empty, and presses the “on” button. After going through the cycle, the dishes, warm to the touch and literally sparkling clean, are placed precisely on the table. Then, she grabs her thickest heaviest silverware and after folding the light green cloth napkins in a design the learned on a trip to Asia (which no one she has met in the States can quite reproduce), she puts the silverware down in the proper way that was taught to her in Home Economics class way back in seventh grade.

She goes over to her liquor cabinet and grabs her best wine glasses. After using a cloth to rub around the edge of each glass, she puts them down on the table. She walks to the kitchen to grab a bottle of wine out of her hand crafted, wood carved wine holder she bought from France. This specific bottle is of her best quality, being made by a family of aristocrats and then aged the perfect amount of years. She tilts the glass and pours a glass for herself, her husband, her 37 year old son, and his wife.

Lastly, she goes over to the side drawer and gets six candles. With Mozart’s Requiem Mass in D minor playing softly in the background, she uses a match book she has had since her wedding night that reads, “Julie & Richard 1956” to light the candles. After she lights them, she flicks her wrist ever so slightly and a small wisp of smoke goes up into the room. She dims the light just enough to set the mood.

That is when the doorbell rings. The pizza delivery man has finally arrived.

More Pictures Of Things

Railroad tracks behind 7/11 and Burke Construction, Adams.

Montgomery St. North Adams

Tea & Writing. A typical morning around here.

FTW. I loved this, not sure why. (Walking bridge connecting Colombia and Murray St., Adams)

East Hoosac St, looking towards Hoosac St, Adams

Sunset at my Mom's house, North Eagle Street, Clarksburg

West Main Street Bridge near K&M Motors, North Adams

Hillside Cemetery, West Main Street North Adams

My dad and me.

Adams Night Sky (Ashuwillticook Trail behind Adams Visitor's Center, looking towards Adams Cooperative Bank)

Parking lot behind Big Y, North Adams

Taste the Earth.

Me and Els. Liz cooking in the back.

Apparently, someone thought the street had a cough. (Harmony St. Adams)

A bird. (sky above Russell Field, Adams)


I think my cats know something
that I don’t

I can see it in their eyes, on their face
as they lie on the bed next to me

They aren’t hiding it
they just know it

Look at them

They have something
I don’t

They have something
we as people
are missing

I look at my cats
and simply lying in bed
they do with style-
they have this way
that we just don’t

It might be
because they come from the feline family-
lions, tigers, that sort of creature

these fuckers have style
they have grace
even when they aren’t doing anything-
even when they just slightly close or open their eyes
they do with such personality

I look at my cat
lying next to me
and he looks back-
he knows something
that I don’t
and he’s not about to tell me

(12/7/2011 1:38 pm)


Red clouds of fire encompass the sky, green lighting strikes at the will of the gods, a chariot full of purple horses carrying blood red demons with black hoods and keyhole like eyes pinpoint death with their pitchforks of doom. Humanity has fallen.

Grey smoke chokes away life as it lines the sky, scraping holes into the gaps of the atmosphere. Sheets of sharp ice fall from above cutting through skin, ripping flesh to reveal dark maroon pools of blood from people. Children with wondrous eyes stare up at awe only to be destroyed by small charcoal fire rocks which explode into their blue twinkling bulbous gazes.

Adults ponder their existence while groups jump hand in hand off steel grey bridges, splashing into the murky cold water below, becoming nothing but stale death as their Jello-like bodies smack against the hard concrete of the water which results in a shotgun like explosion of human organs all mixed and matched into the flowing stream. The rotting flesh in the running water turns it into a yellow green bubbling liquid that steams at the top, as frogs and fish vaporize from the toxicity, it only creates more running red flow of rot.

The smell protrudes of a dump, flies buzz by in thousands looking to feed off another rank decaying body. There are heaps and piles of humanity stacked in layers, hands protruding, feet indistinguishable from one another, rotting green flesh opens to reveal black organs oozing yellow puss from all pores. Streets explode with quick flashes of fire, revealing white light amongst flying limbs.

The death riders amongst their horses storm the town in a tornado like furry chaining those unlucky enough to be alive. Foot to foot they are chained with sharp steel so tight that around the ankle the skin begins to fill with blood, rising an inch above the rest, becoming a purple ring of anesthesia around their numb feet. They are unable to stand as the metal chains suffocate the life of their toes, slowly rotting away to a light blue tint of uselessness.

The red demons with keyhole eyes drag the bodies across the hot black pavement, scraping faces to reveal long lines of blood behind the forceful power of their chariots. Chunks of skin ripple off, crumbling in clumps disintegrating onto the road, noses become eroded to flatness, lips are ripped from their redness to reveal only bits of tattered and torn skin between blood and shattered teeth that break off in pieces and plunge forcefully into their throats. As they are being dragged, they reach down into their guts to attempt to scream, but the master of their destiny will not allow for complaints.

Machine like birds come from the sky, with their fluorescent flashing lights and their sleek black exteriors gazing down on a world filled with colorful confusion. The steel vultures come from the sky of doom pecking with their black beaks at anything even remotely alive. People holding onto life, crawling in the ruined, fiery streets reach for help, but they are pecked to death by the annihilation vultures which have come from a blackened sun.

Wind storms of sharp sand amongst a sky of moody orange-yellow blind people as the sand creeps into every bit of their eye sockets, filling retinas with dirt, corneas with irritation, and eyes with total darkness. They are unable to see the laser like orange sunbeams striking through the blackened clouds of darkness that light up the sea of bats which keep the darkness in tact. Those now blind are blessed to not see what else is to come in this hell known as earth.

Mutant dogs with extended, thick tusk-like yellow fangs rotting to patches of brown and green smell of cancer as they roar their barks of forever-hate. These six headed demon animals look like Rottweilers and sound like the echo of the cascading black mountains. Their continuous bark is a piercing loudness that slices through eardrums of any unlucky enough to hear it, causing a slow trickle of blue blood, dripping with a tap onto the flesh of their dirty, scabbed over shoulders. The minds of those sorry enough to hear the boisterous noise of these monster canines lose control of mental functions as their brains slowly melt away through their ears, piece by piece. Solid turns to liquid and pieces of infected brain fall out of their ear holes like the vomit of a Picasso painting.

The zombie like creatures that remain, half brained, spew their acid spit at any life form they see, scratching and clawing at others in an attempt to take their life in order to save their own. Amongst dinosaur like mega creatures of metal, even the zombies can’t hide as their bodies crush revealing their diseased interiors. Under the weight of these hyper-millennium human creations that have taken over, nothing will survive.

Just To Clarify

Recently there has been some god talk on here (more than usual, at least), especially in the post below. I don't want to sound like a rambling religious freak, so just to be sure I would also like to say fuck god. Yes, fuck 'em. That should even things out. Fuck god. Fuck his son. Fuck your belief system. Fuck mine. Fuck the whole godforsaken thing (ahahah, like that wordplay?) Laughter is more important than god. Fuck Jesus. Fuck Muhammad. Fuck Joseph Smith. Fuck whoever the hell else. Thank you. I am glad to have gotten this off my chest.


I think god had something important to say, but the problem is that if he was god, he would be smart enough not to tell it to a human. I think god told it to the sky, the sea, the mountains. I think god told it to life itself. I think god was smart enough to know that any of his ideas couldn’t be wasted, squandered on the idea of humanity. I don’t think humans are some special form of life which god cups his hand to the ear of and whispers to. I think the universe, I think life itself is where god lives, where god resides. I think he can be heard in the wind, seen in the sunshine, and felt in the idea that we have been blessed with this idea of life at all (if our lives are good enough to let us appreciate such a thing).

(12/4/2011 12:34 am)

You look at the stars and wonder
connecting you with the past of humanity

Wonder is like hope
in a way

It’s a joy when there might not be any

Wonder is underrated

To sit in awe of something
To not be sure of it

science tells us some things-
the stars are gasses clustered together
but to me
no answer is good enough
to answer the questions of life’s mysteries

I’d rather be in wonder
than know

I’d rather not know at times
than be so cocksure
of a truth

I stare at the clouds, the sky, the stars at night
knowing I don’t know - wondering
and I’m glad I’ve been given such a thing


Soldier Of Freedom

If the afterlife was a mirror of your entire life, would you want to look into it?

I was looking for my hair tie. I was looking all over for it, pissed off that I lost another one. I found it. It was in my hair.

You are alive, and so am I. Something brought us together. You are reading this. That’s cool. We met, somehow, even if only our minds, thoughts, ideas. Wherever you are, whatever you are, whoever you are, it was great to have some sort of connection.

I wish I could get drunk with my cats and talk about shit.

It’s herd out here for a pimp. I just always wanted to write that.

Look at the sky, feel the wind, realize that your body is made to live amongst the Earth - with it, not separate from it. Go outside, walk, ride a bike, run, enjoy it. It is part of you that you are missing if you don’t. Get back to the very roots of where you came. You came from the Earth, you are part of the Earth. Go out and be with it. Let it get back into you and it will give something back, it might make you feel something you have never felt before - I know it has for me.

Time flies when you are having fun, but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have fun.

I’d be so weird if I was normal.

Somewhere, people fell off. I’m not quite sure where. But, somewhere, humanity fell off. I think it was when we started working so much in order to pay other people to do things that we could learn on our own. I think it was when we decided that we needed money to pay for so much stuff around the house instead of doing it ourselves so that we could spend our lives with those we love. I think it was when we decided that going to work amongst strangers was better than staying at home with those you love working around the house to keep things going.

People are so far unconnected that they can’t even see that they one day were. That is how long it has been. That is how far we are from where we need to be. The chain of humanity to nature broke a long time ago, so long ago that we can’t even see that we were once part of it. We think we are some distinct separate link because we are so far disconnected from what we really are. Our natural state. It is so far, that the odd people in society are the ones more in tune with that - doing what was once totally naturally (still is, but we just can’t see it anymore).

If you are too cool to laugh, you aren’t that cool and people are probably laughing at you for thinking you are too cool to laugh.

They are saying so much, but not saying much at all. There are many words coming from their mouths, many letters filling many pages on many books, but very little actually being said.

A glimmer of hope can wipe away a nearly insurmountable amount of despair.

Humans want all of the fun and none of the consequence.

A guy I deliver to said “God bless you.” I thought, “He already has.”

As a kid, I saw adults as adults. Now that I am one, I see them as children that have just grown up. I see them as kids that are a bit older. I see them as physically grown up, but I know that deep down, mentally, they are still just as unsure (or should be) as when they were kids. I just see them as kids in an adult body and I can never get back to seeing them how I used to.

Rite-Aid sent me an email that for a limited time, I can get a flu shot there for $19.99. Think about all that for a minute.

You are here for a little bit, able to see, feel, touch, hear some shit. Then, you are gone.

I am 26, which means I am almost 30, which is almost 40. 40 is only 20 years away from being 60. Shit, I’m old.

Some of our ideas and inventions are genius, but our use of them is more than the opposite. Look at electricity. A genius discovery/invention/way of harnessing a natural energy. But, our use of it is so out of control, so fucked up, so bad. We take this really genius idea and just overuse it to the point that we have put a genius idea to use in a totally nongenius way.

Soldier of freedom.

It is better to live in a valley with others to tell stories to than stand alone at the top of a mountain for the rest of time shouting truths you have realized that no one else will ever hear.

We wouldn’t cry at death if we didn’t have life.

When writing, you shouldn’t ramble on. I was going to ramble on to defeat the entire purpose of this statement, but I think that one sentence sums it up and, honestly, even though I didn’t want to, I sort of rambled on here anyway in a sort of double backwards way of proving my point.

Spit the truth, even if it can be hard to swallow.

Imagine a cat driving a car and you will see ridiculous it is that we all do. Picture them searching around the house for the keys, and walking out the back door towards the garage, keys in hand, ready to get in that thing. See? Fucking nuts, isn’t it?

Don’t read this. If you do it has ruined its purpose. ASSHOLE!

Be an artist and have life be the form of it.

My cat, Larry David has never showered or bathed in his entire life. He smells better than I do after not bathing for one day. How is this possible? How does this happen? Seriously, I just sniffed him while giving him a kiss, and it’s not that he doesn’t smell bad, he actually smells good. What the hell is going on here?

They can tell you what stars “are” but they can’t tell you what they mean.

Have fun, but be safe.

Life bless.
Slipping Time

We are here
evidence that the past has worked
the way it is
has been more than enough
to pass our seed on
to watch our children grow

What is the evidence that the future will hold such a fate?

Why are we going so far away
from what has worked?

Will they one day read this
and realize
we are far too ahead of ourselves?

When will we realize
that enough is enough
too far is too far

When will we open our eyes and see
that the past is our roadmap
and we have traded it in for some question of the future?

When will we turn around
to see our past
instead of being so fixated
on the future?

Our past should be our future
because here in the present
is the proof that it worked.

(12/5/2011 1:23 am)

Monday, December 5, 2011

The Faceless March

Plastic machine men
with minds of another

Armies moving toward nothing
following no goal but of that supplied by their superior

A void
faceless monster
with no feelings
this army of war creates

Men half a thing
with no feelings
only actions-
actions told to them as orders-
and they follow suit

Machine men
stepping their way towards hate

Machine men
robotically moving in a direction not of their choosing-
but they choose to follow the orders

Machine men
plastic forms
all looking the same
all feeling the same-

No emotion but hate
No action but death
No life but a way to end it

This army of hate marches on
through the centuries

Men have been tricked
following orders of another
stepping without thinking
killing without knowing
bombing without caring
taking life without having one of their own

The faceless march continues…

(12/5/2011 1:03 am)

Friday, December 2, 2011

Pictures & Thoughts

Yes, that is right, “Yard Beautification.” We have come to that point as a species.

Randy Marsh, my writing notebook, and orange juice. Life is good.

Two Dandelions Still Fighting (December 1, 2011 North Houghton St. Clarksburg)

This was written on an abandoned house on Brooklyn St. in North Adams. They are urging us to "PLEAE KEEP PEACE." Not sure what that means. Always spell-check before doing political/philosophical/meaningful graffiti.

This tree is their "Private Property." (Brooklyn St. North Adams)

I went by this rally before and there were about 8 people there. If 8 people is the 99%, someone has done the math wrong. (Store Window, Main Street North Adams)

A thong on the ground on East Jordan St, Adams. The funny part is that it was about 40 feet up the street about a week before, meaning somehow it got moved. Why I took a picture of it I am not totally sure. Probably to point this shit out. I'll keep you updated on the whereabouts of the dirty thong on the street.

Yup, the church is for sale, and apparently god is a fan of Steepleview Realty. (corner of Commercial St. & River St., Adams)

Just thought this was cool. (Walking bridge near Heritage State Park, North Adams)

So, they think that if you aren't a good father and you happen to see this billboard of Lion King, it might convince you to be one. I'm lost. (Adams/North Adams border Howland Avenue).

What the Indians warned us about. I heard they are going to put a dollar store here. Great. (next to Dunkin Donuts, Colombia Street, Adams)


The man showed up fashionably late to the ritualistic sacrifice. He was punished for it by being killed in ritualistic fashion.

I sometimes think “foot” should have been spelled “fut.”

I have an addiction. I’m not addicted to cocaine, drinking, or even gambling. I’m addicted to cracking skulls when punks start static. We don’t have many meetings, but when we do, Fred Durst always pulls a no show.

The problem is that not many people are worth listening to. Another problem is that most of the ones who are worth it are either kids or young. Yet another problem is that you have to get old enough to realize this. By then, you wasted a lot of your time listening to people not worth listening to because you weren’t old enough to know that most of them aren’t worth listening to.

When you are young, it is the only time you don’t talk or think about your age all that much.

“I don’t want to win the lottery or nothing. I don’t want anything to change. I just want my life to stay the same.” - Guy at 18 Temple St. that I deliver to when I asked him how things were. (day before Thanksgiving 2011)

A bisexual shopaholic loves both Dick’s and BJ’s.

The idea of a new wallet is odd: You go and pay money for something that you are going to keep your money in.

It is no coincidence that bet and debt rhyme.

My life is not my work. My life is my work.

It is odd to think that someone has to register as a sex offender:
“I am a sex offender.”
“Well, are you registered?”
“Oh, sorry, doesn’t count.”

Women will never understand men until they can comprehend why men are so obsessed with boobs. Men will never understand women until they can comprehend why a woman would willingly wear a thong.


If smoking is banned within 20 feet of school property, I think eating McDonalds should be as well.

You might think I get high and then play basketball, but it isn’t like that. My eyes are just bloodshot because I just put these one time use contacts in for the sixth time.

I just wanted to share that with someone who would understand. I just wanted to tell that to someone who would get where it is coming from in my mind. I just wanted to let you know, because I know you know me enough to understand what it means to me. I just wanted to share that with someone who would understand what I mean by it. I just wanted to get that across from my mind to yours because I realize that you know me enough to know why it is important for me to tell it to you.

Considering the fact that it’s vomit, honey doesn’t taste too bad.

Start eating with your hands. Somehow, it tastes better. Seriously, try it. Don’t use a fork or spoon. Shovel that shit into your face with your fingers. It will taste better. I’m not sure how this works, but it does.

Quote once said to my dad when he was talking about his 10 for $10 porn DVDs of which he has about 100: “I’m gonna inherit those.”

The way it is now, the only progression is regression.

Basketball: I hate when someone is so wide open and you make a great pass to them only to find out that the reason they were so wide open is that they are on the other team.

In one moment, you can throw everything away and its too easy to do so without realizing it until it is too late.

We will always grow the mountains between mountains and men.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Pictures From Boston

I'm used to the sticks around here in Adams, so I had to take a picture of this big metal wirey thing resembling a tree off the highway on route 1 near Norwood. I call this, "The Ugly Tree." Yeah, I can get all artsy-fartsy when need be. Don't hate.

"Juicy Socialite" shirt. Someone will not only wear this, but will pay money for it. I thought this fact was hilarious. Just think about the fact that they will wear this around in public. Nevermind that I wear a Superman outfit around in public - this shit is weirder. (Kohl's)

Wow, what a great deal! Get it while you can! Buy 10 and get one free! This is too absurd to be real, but it is. (CVS in Norwood, MA)

This is at McDonalds. No, I did not eat there. Yes, they have computers with functioning internet. Yes, I purposefully put the websites on Facebook and Wikipedia for this picture. A kid came in and said, "You can go on Facebook at McDonald's now?!" My sentiments exactly. Shit is getting weird, folks.

I got all creepy and took a picture of this leaf peeper, thus becoming a peeper of a peeper. Fucking weirdo. Stop taking pictures of random shit, you dork.

Beetles Ruining Trees

In Massachusetts, there is a billboard, made out of paper which is trees that have been cut down, raising awareness about the Asian Longhorned Beetle, a beetle which is known to ruin trees. So, what we have is a tree that has been cut down and killed promoting the stopping of a beetle so that it can no longer kill trees. We are so worried about the beetles killing the trees, but are so caught up in ourselves that we can’t see that we are doing the same thing.
Say something with your life.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

People I Can Do Without

  • Any doctor who uses the word “Oops” as a frequent part of their vocabulary.
  • An old school pro wrestler proudly attempting to take credit for being the guy who started the habit of using steroids in the business.
  • Anyone who calls their mother “dude.”
  • Anyone snobby about how much money they don’t have.
  • Anyone with a homemade “Snot Rocket World Champion” plaque hanging above their fireplace.
  • Anyone sitting in their car watching youth football practice who is in no way related to any of the players.
  • Anyone totally on the up and up on Gallagher.
  • Anyone whose favorite professional sports league is the WNBA.
  • Anyone who puts jerking off on their list of things to do this week.
  • Any guy who is so bad with women that he can’t even get laid by a hooker…even after paying her.
  • Anyone whose only constant in life is masturbation.
  • Anyone who orders pizza delivery for their dog.
  • Anyone who stops and says, “Wait, let me put my bling on first” right before sex.
  • Anyone who can spell “inconvenience” but not “convenience.”

Monday, November 21, 2011

The Mangerment Wants To Thank You

Colombia Street, Adams (next to Angelina's).

An Early Thanksgiving

I sit and cry about how good I have it. I can’t help it. I am that blessed. I am that lucky. Something, somewhere, and the people around me have been worth it all. They have all been so great to me. There are tears on my chest as I write this that fell from my eyes which came from my heart, which is nothing but part of my soul. Thank you. Thank you for reading. Thank you for being part of my life. Thank whatever there is to thank for giving me life. Thank you for blessing me. Thank it all for giving me the gift of life that I have. Thank you all, I don’t ever want to take any of it for granted. Thank you.
I don’t know. I’m glad about that. I like the mystery.

Recent Thoughts Going Through My Mind

Hey, everybody, look! They are selling the church! That church is for sale! God is looking to cash in. Times are tough, even with all the tithing. Check it out, god uses Monarch Realty. Everyone, look, they are selling the church! Line up, the house of god is being traded for green paper with some ink on it.

War: Why would you voluntarily go to a country in which the people living there are desperately doing everything they can to leave?

Give us today our daily McDonalds
and forgive us our assholeness
as we forgive those who are assholes to us
and lead us not into a one world nation
but deliver us from rock & roll music.

In order to be good at something, you just have to love it enough to make it so.

One time I breastfed my laptop.

Black & Mild cigars are more than a dollar a piece. It is getting expensive to kill yourself nowadays.

Bacne. Nothing more need be said.

Life in the fast lane? That’s not really me. Instead, I’m parked sitting on my bike over off to the side of the road watching it all.

I’m critical of others because I don’t want to realize all the things about myself that there are to be critical of.

Joke at my funeral. Please, for the love of all that is good in this world, someone remark about how shitty I look there. I would. Please, don’t hold back. Make fun of me. For fuck sake I want to get at least a laugh out of this shit. Fuck when I die I hope people at least get a fucking laugh out of it. I’d like somebody to at least get a smile out of the shit.

People call their significant other “honey” as a pet name. Honey is bee vomit. I am as confused as you about this.

Everyone is truly agnostic. No one can truly know.

Things that piss me off: People who pronounce cousin as “cousint.’ There is no “t” in cousin. Can we understand this as a society? Please, stop saying “cousint.” It makes no sense. Not too far from this is people saying “ant” when pronouncing “aunt.” This needs to stop too. It’s these little things that eat at me.

I had life in my hand and it slipped through my fingertips like sand.

Toy fake dog at Wal-Mart: $46.87. Real dog anywhere else: Free.

Sweatpants & Tea

This is not worth writing and even less worth reading but hey fuck it, you just did anyway.

It’s a piece of cake to have your cake and eat it too. Actually, it’s as easy as pie. You know, still water runs deep. Oh, wait. That one doesn’t quite work there. I fucked up. I thought this would be easier. I thought it would be a cake walk. Ah! Yes, got you there, didn’t I?

USA. Boil it down. Humanity. Boil it down. Life. It all boils down to life.

I’m not one for jokes. That’s a joke.

Voicemail message: This is John Pitroff. You know that, though. Why am I telling you that shit? You already know that, you called me. If you didn’t know it’s me, then I probably don’t want to talk to you and have to wonder why you are calling me. If you are a bill collector - forget it. You might as well give up now. I need my money. I want my money. You aren’t getting it. Don’t even bother. Anyway, if you are someone I know then leave me a message and I will most likely get back to you, I can’t say I will for sure, I don’t know, I could get killed in some freak accident, hell, I might be dead right now for all I know. Well, let’s hope not, and perhaps I’ll talk to you later today after you leave me a message, if you made it through this message enough to leave one. Thanks.

What was Jesus doing for 32 years? Playing hacky sack? Building up his rock collection? Finding those hard to find vintage rare baseball cards? Learning yoga? Reading Bukowski? I bet you he was off somewhere with a boomerang in the middle of a field playing with himself. No, you know what he was doing? That fucker was learning to crotchet hats so that he didn’t have to spend money and could give hand made pillow cases and shit out for Christmas. This is almost as absurd as Jesus disappearing after his birth for 32 years and no one mentioning where the son of god/god himself in the flesh was or what he was doing.

How you doing Einstein? What you been up to Einstein? Did you learn to ride a bike yet? Still having problems with the woman at home? Decide to marry your cousin yet? How about those two boys of yours? Have you manned up and actually started taking care of them or you still ignoring them acting as if they don’t exist? You still not sure how to properly spread that peanut butter on that toast? What’s up Einstein? You still getting bitched at by your underage first cousin whom you married to take out the trash? Let me know what’s been going on in your life, old pal.

Inside my mind it’s graphic, like a novel, like my concepts.

When you make yourself a part of the Great Spirit, it makes itself a part of you.
The Road Towards Yourself

Follow your heart
it might be taking you somewhere
perhaps toward yourself
perhaps toward who you are


Friday, November 18, 2011

The kids don’t read anymore, it’s boring to them. They don’t like listening to old men talk about how much candy bars used to cost. They like some fantasy realm listening to music about guns and drugs. The kids don’t read anymore, and I don’t blame them, I never did either. It takes a lot of luck to find a writer worth reading, and a near miracle to find one different than the rest. There is a sea of eternity out there, and we are all one fish in that sea. This is a haystack, and each and every one of us is a small needle. I’m here to stick this needle to them.
A Great Sentence

After I left my duplex, I was getting road head from a mulatto midget while driving my hybrid, and I noticed that it is only half as good, especially for me, a bisexual.


Saw this on the railroad tracks near Ashland St., North Adams

Thursday, November 17, 2011

g/ od

the ego of man
what a folly it is to fight over god

the confusion of mankind
nowhere more evident
than in the fact that out of the greatest love
comes our greatest hate


Tuesday, November 15, 2011


Beautiful views of the mountains
obstructed by our wires

We all have to get somewhere
to something
we forget
where we already are

(11/15/2011 Harmony St., Adams)

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Leaf Blowers & Life

I jammed my finger. So then, I peanut buttered the other one. Then I put them together. Finger sandwich time, mother fucker!

I saw a billboard that said, “1 in 6 Americans struggles with hunger.” Apparently, 1 in 6 Americans doesn’t know what “struggling with hunger” actually means.

Sometimes, you don’t know you’ve got it, but you do. Worse off, you think you don’t. It is one thing to have it without knowing it, but it is even worse thinking you don’t.

Everything is recycled - even the people.

I was walking by two kids, probably 7, 8, or 9 and they were playing with a plastic toy gun. I said, “No guns, only love.” The kid said, “I love my gun.” Touche.

You can’t have environmentalist without “mental.”

A: What do you want to do with your life?
B: Not be defined by my job.

On ads for alcohol they say, “Drink Responsibly.” So when you get cocked and drive your car home totally fucked up and barely able to stay on the road, at least do it responsibly.

If you don’t smell by the end of the day, then you aren’t working hard enough.

Can anyone rationally explain to me a reason that a leaf blower exists? Don’t say, “to blow leaves.” That’s not a good enough reason.

Just a note to think about: We live in a society where leaf blowers are relevant.

Don’t deal with boredom. Make it something else.

Who am I, they want to know. Just some guy who will one day be dead. Until then, I’m just attempting to be in awe of this great thing known as life.

When you risk it all, it is the only way to ever possibly get that much back. If you risk a little, you get a little back. If you risk it all, you have the possibility of getting it all back. It doesn’t always happen. But when it does, oh, it makes it worth it for all the times it didn’t.

Whenever you hear, “according to researchers…” always be weary.

Humble yourself at the idea of it.

Make your life such that when it is gone, life itself is missing something because of it.

Much like it isn’t how much you make, but how much you save, it isn’t how many years you have, it is how much you pay attention during them.

I’m not totally alone. I have the entire universe.

Reality is the fiction of something greater than we could ever imagine ourselves.
Mock. Live longer. Come to understand. Accept.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

To Myself, Now

Don’t waste your time
it might be all of it
that you have

Don’t forget your childhood
waiting to become an adult
(it is so easy to learn this
after you have grown)

Don’t wait for it
learn to get it
learn to let it come

Don’t ruin the glory of your middle years
slowly realizing how fast it can all pass

Don’t let old age
be the only thing
holding you back
from daring to do something

Don’t ever be too scared
or too worried
or too old
to do something
that you one day
would have done
but now feel as though
you know too much
to take such a risk

Go for it
don’t let life get in the way
of living it

If at a time
you were able to let go that much
to not worry
to just dare
to dream
and make it become a reality
then what is stopping you now
but deciding in your mind
it might be
too late?

(11/6/2011 5:48 pm)

Thursday, November 10, 2011

It’s a high school basketball game. The coach is on the sideline. He can see out of the corner of his eye one of his players sitting up in his seat, as forward as he can be. He can feel it. He knows he wants it. He knows he wants in. He knows he wants a chance. This kid is ready. This kid is ready. The coach can just feel it. He turns toward the kid, looks him straight in the eyes and says, “You want it? Go fucking get it.”

Wednesday, November 9, 2011


Wood is not pollution. EVER! If I eat an ice cream bar and there is a stick left over and I throw it on the ground, that is not pollution! It is wood. It is a tree. It will go back to the grass and become part of the earth again. Same with paper. Paper is never pollution. It is a tree. In much the same way, throwing food anywhere is never pollution, EVER! Food is never pollution. Rotting food or not. Rotting food, especially, isn’t pollution because it is already rotting, it is already disintegrating, it is already going back to the earth. You want to know what the real pollution is? That paved road you just threw the apple onto. That car you just threw the apple out of as you drive around. That office where you feel bad throwing a banana peel directly onto the ground. Yes, we have our ideas of pollution almost totally backwards.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Watching Rap Videos

I’m not trying to stay relevant, I’m not attempting to sell any of this shit. I’m not trying to find a fan base, or looking to cash in on this feverish mind pace. I’m not looking for a way to make these words make millions, they are already worth more to me as they are. I don’t need a thousand followers or even one person listening, only myself, the one who I write it all for, the one good reason. My purpose is greater than that, my reason is for more than making a buck, or even finding others who care - I just want to write this down, let others come to it - share. I just want to get across how I feel and let someone else know, don’t want money intertwined with the things inside my mind that are important to know - mainly the fact that money can’t buy art, it can’t buy this, it can’t buy the love one has for doing what they do. So, keep on rapping about your rims, about your money, about your honeys, about your spins, keep rapping about your paper and I’ll keep rapping about mine. The reason I write might be the same, but this paper is all mine.

Keep posing for the camera, keeping tricking out those cars, keep doing it for all the wrong reasons, keep lowering the idea of art. Keep selling it all for something, keep lowering the expectations of the next generation, keep missing relevance in places most are too busy to care about, keep going on and on about how you’ve made it when if one is to look deep enough, we know it is all a hollow dream that can never be realized. Keep flipping your cash at your cars, shaking booty bumps up and down is what we now call art? Keep playing to the masses, keep shouting out your ideas which seem to be matterless. Keep saying nothing with the time you have, keep wasting your opportunity to do some good, keep bleeding away the hemorrhage of your nothing mind sharing your pride of ego with them all.

Hey, look at me I’ve made it. I am here, I have a point to prove. I had nothing in high school, but now look at these bitches following me - now I’m cool. Well, good for you. An ego on display, millions watching your slow mind decay, a point to prove to everyone, but you haven’t even proved it to yourself, living your days for an idea of what you didn’t have, living your life to show others what you now do.

But what is it that you do? What do you have, so little being said, nothing, not even few. What has been done, where have you gone? Nowhere, nothing. You haven’t stepped forward, you haven’t grown, saying the same shit as before, but from a different perspective - your shit is repetitive. Rappers go from rapping about coming from nothing to all they have and they still have yet to learn it’s not about that. All the wrong reasons, all the wrong songs, nothing is in tune, it is all wrong. You are saying nothing, nothing is being said, it is all a mockery of our greatest art - now dead.

I’m here to resurrect the idea of making something have meaning, of using art as a way to get across a feeling. As not throwing out words or belittling them, of respecting each and every one as if it is the last we have left. Every word could be our last breathe and we must say what needs to be said, no wasted motion, no wasted movement, no wasted words - anymore. No toying with this, no bastardizing it, no ruining the very thing I feel is true inside my heart. No disrespecting this great idea known as writing, no more using it as a way to show off your bullshit, no more playing with it and tossing it aside so you can buy, no getting rich and famous as the ultimate but that of writing being the goal in and of itself, the award on the shelf, the prize of oneself. Writing just because one can, because one loves to not because it is a means to something more, not because it is a road to something else, not because it could bring riches, bitches, and wealth.

(11/8/2011 3:12 pm)

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Ching Chong Chung

I keep seeing these road signs that say “Men & equipment in road.” Well get them the fuck out of there!

Add “…in life” onto any statement in order to sound really deep.
Sage: “My hair is getting really long…in life.”
Pee-on normal person: Wow, this guy is deep!
Mystic: “My cat is sitting on my lap while I sit on the couch…in life”
Everyday jerk-off: Shit! This guy will blow your mind, he has so much wisdom!
Philosopher: “Writing is one of my favorite things in life…in life”
Idiot masses regular old douche: FUCK! This guy is like taking acid…in life”
Guru: There you go, now you are catching on
…in life.

If you write a scientific paper proving a new theory, but accidentally drop it into your Snack Pack, the proof is in the pudding.

I saw a leather jacket in the middle of the road. From far away, it looked like a dead animal. Technically, it was.

Something I noticed is that recently I haven’t noticed as much as I have noticed before about things. At least I noticed this. Noticing about my lack of noticing is something I am lucky to notice.

Things you don’t see very often: A female fascist dictator.

Exclamations I appreciate: "Holy nutsack dribbles!"

Where have all the cowboys gone?? I ask, where do all the hair ties go? life

Susan B. Anthony just seems like the type of bitch who would not wipe her own ass because it would be “too degrading to women.” I seem like the asshole enough to say it.

I want to meet a lesbian feminist with a girlfriend whom she belittles, disrespects, demeans, and keeps down. She is pretty much what a male chauvinist is to women, but she is a lesbian feminist woman doing it to another woman. Anytime the girlfriend attempts to speak, say anything, or have an opinion, the lesbian feminist is just totally condescending and demeaning towards her and her ideas. I like this character. I want to meet someone like this. She must be out there.

Cockles of my heart. Ahah. Cockles. That sounds great.

You ever get a really good booger, then you lose it? Don’t you hate that? I do. You know you do too. It is just a matter of admitting it to yourself.

No one ever claps when they learn they have it.

Washboards were once used to hand wash clothes. Now they are wall decorations. I wonder if one day you will walk into someone’s house and they will have a washing machine hanging on the wall as décor.

Imagine if whales had to use condoms.

The early bird gets the worm, but the one too tired to wake up because he was up all night fucking has the most fun.

The early bird gets the worm. I wonder what the early worm gets. Eaten by the bird, apparently.

I don’t like having a mustache. But I like it even less when my girlfriend does.

Hunter S. Thompson isn’t the great gonzo writer, Jim Henson is.

Have Some Fun:
Next time you are sitting next to someone, slightly turn towards them, and in the most polite way, gently ask, “Can I strangle you?”

Dress up as a farmer, making sure to wear coveralls, and stand outside the local McDonalds shouting, “give me my cows back” until authorities arrive.

Asphyxiate your ailing elderly uncle just for the hell of it.

Driving around, when you come to a stop sign, stop…and don’t go again. Once the cars start to get backed up behind you and someone says something, calmly explain your reasoning for doing so. “I am obeying the sign” should be sufficient. You can add a nice “asshole” at the end of the sentence if you want to be stylish about it.

Okay, you’ve got a button, a Hacky-Sack, a college ruled notebook, a jar of mustard, a hammer, a soiled pair of boxer shorts and enough clown makeup to make the Insane Clown Posse jealous. Time to start doing some property damage.

When conversing with people, ask them yes or no questions, and when they respond, always react as though they gave the opposite answer. Example: “Do you like driving trucks?” “No” “Yeah, they are great, aren’t they? Good for moving stuff and very powerful. I personally like the Dodge Rams the best.” This will get funny after about the seventh one.

If you are a man, shave your legs. If you are a woman, grow out your armpit hair. It is always good to keep people guessing.

Next time you are watching TV, anytime something lame happens, kick your pet. Hey! Stop beating your cat mercilessly!

Kill yourself. For a suicide note, just have, “I thought the safety was on” scribbled barely legible on a piece of scrap paper. That should keep them thinking for a bit.

Once you have used an entire bag of cat litter, keep the bag. After you buy a new bag, every time you are changing the litter box, put the used litter back in the empty bag. When it is totally full of dirty litter, have it professionally closed back up. Return it to the store, claiming that “the gods of the future sent me used littler in this bag, instead of new shit - haahahah, get it, new shit?!” You have to say that exact thing, laugh included, otherwise, this won’t be as funny.

Adios compadre. If you're not of Mexican-American descent, that means "peace out, homes." If you're not black, that means, "I'll catch you on the flip side old chap." If you aren't a total fruit, that means, "ching chong chung." If you aren't Chinese, that means "See you later, buddy."

There Is A Gap

There is a gap
between us
the humans
and nature
and it wasn’t always there

We have created a rip
a tear
in the idea of living as we should

There is a gap there
that we never quite get to see
and few rarely notice
because it is one of the things
that we don’t want to see
about ourselves

There is a gap between nature
and humanity
that wasn’t always there
and we need to get things back to the way they were
and be able to live with it
instead of being able to survive
outside of it

There is a gap
we have created

We are separated from it

We are not with it

We are distinct
We are our own
We are surviving amongst each other
putting all our chips into one pot
betting on this idea
of humanity
being able to uphold
so much pressure

The only thing that might be able to
that has been able to
has been nature itself
the planet
and our ability as humans
throughout time
to be able to live in accordance with it
as part of it
instead of
distinct from it

There is a gap there
that few want to realize
and it widens as time progresses
and we get a little bit further
from the place
we were meant to be

(9/18/2011 3:45 am)
Hug the individual and you have loved humanity.

Friday, November 4, 2011

We Forget

We are all
so confused

We look to the sun
for answers

We look to a god
we have created
within our mind
in a world outside

We strive to know
the way nature works
while raping it
our daily lives

We all walk around
not knowing anything
and we hope (and wonder)
that we will find
some answers

But there are no answers
only more confusion

As the people fall to their knees towards Mecca
as people sing hymns in church
as the Mayans sacrifice 80,000
to appease
their idea
of god

No one knows

We all try to understand

We lose our conception
of what it means
to live
while attempting
to appease
the almighty

god doesn’t need
god is not looking for

As heads roll down pyramids
as priests rape children
as religion starts one more war
no one
no one
that we are all

The masses
bowing down
in prayer
looking to a sky
for hope
attempting to find the reasons
of nature
through an unknowing god
we have placed
above us

Civilization falls to its knees
while trying to find an answer
to the life question

Societies are overrun
with hate
with evil
with terror
with desolation

all in the name of god:

A god which we forget
is love

(Sunday May 23 2010 12:38 am)

Thursday, November 3, 2011

You can never give a speech at your funeral. You have to give it with your life.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011


Dear Todd

Hey Todd, how you been? It’s been a while. I heard you recently got out of jail. How was your stint there? Perhaps holding up a McDonalds at gunpoint isn’t the best life decision, especially at the age of 47. It just sort of ruins that whole, “I was young and stupid” excuse so many like to use nowadays.

Well, you old hippie fuck, I think its about time to cut that long ass hair. You aren’t twenty anymore. That shit is getting to look quite bad. And that hat? Time to get rid of that, too. That thing wasn’t cool when you bought it, and just add that to the fact that it is you wearing it, who couldn’t pull off a t shirt and jeans in this sick culture is more than enough to make nearly throw up just thinking about it. Put down the guitar, buddy. It’s over. Come back to reality. I realize the pot and acid did something to your brain, but you are what John Lennon would have ended up being like if he made it that far into life. I know you are a huge fan of The Beatles, but please, for the love of god, don’t take that as a compliment.

I think watching the Fugitive over and over on VHS can be hazardous to your mental health. That is why I wrote. You really should quit that. I realize that that little tiny gay voice in your head is attracted to Harrison Ford when he is giving himself the shot and he shows his abs even at such an old age, but enough is enough here. Time to throw that movie away. I have plenty of really good Adam Sandler movies from the last decade you can laugh at. You seem out of it just enough to enjoy them. And, if you really like those, I can also pass along some of these Kevin James movies where he only talks about being fat. Any interest in watching Jim Carrey totally ruin his legacy? Its all on film.

I’ve been pretty good. These cats are really funny sometimes. You ever own cats? Oh yeah, I forgot, you can’t own animals due to something in your past you have yet to reveal to me. It is no wonder I never bring my children around you. I’m telling you, that acid didn’t help you much. Sure, finding yourself is one thing, but when it is you that you had to find, in retrospect, it would have been better to do a drug that would have brought you as far away from yourself as possible.

I just really wanted to write to you about the Fugitive. I know it doesn’t seem important, but it is a huge character flaw within you that just reveals all your problems in life. Stop running. No one is after you. In all honestly, no one even really cares all that much. Hell, if you disappeared from society, I’m not sure anyone would notice - even yourself.

I tried this really great drug the other day. DMT. You might want to try it. It might bring you over the edge just enough so that I can even possibly pass some of these new age 3D movies on you with no plot or halfway decent dialogue, but that the public is willing to watch simply because it is in 3D. America is fucked at this point, much like you are, but it was great being able to write you.

I’m not sure if you can even read at this point, but this did something for me, plus my bitchy wife was nagging at me to contact you. I’m not totally sure why. She seems to be fond of you for some reason, and something in my heart has her back about this even though I know deep down that you two are fucking each other. Go ahead, fuck away. The syphilis might twist your mind back from where it is to something resembling normalcy. But, I doubt it. “Imagine” as John Lennon would say.

Well, I have some eggs to cook, a wife to punch in the face, and a turtle head just nestling its way ever so slightly towards reality. Gonna make me some din-din, drink me some orange juice, and beat the shit outta my wife, like a good, normal, white, overfed, slob American does. Do it right, keep it real, and stay fresh.

Your old pal, Allen Weinernuts
Knowing What Could Have Been

Don’t look at what you’ve lost
it might make your heart fall
knowing you never had it

Never look at what you’ve lost
or never quite had
your heart just might hurt
knowing what could have been

(7/24/2011 9:44 pm)


I’m not one of these idealists who thinks peace will get something done.

I think going to McDonalds would make me want to throw up. And that isn’t even because of the food. That is just watching the other people there eating it.

We make men into myths they wouldn’t live up to if they were still living.

I consider it a good day if you aren’t missing a large chunk of your head by the time you are going to bed.

Thanks. Thank you. I am lucky to be alive. I am blessed to have been given this great life. I have to thank something, anything. I don’t know what it is. But, I have to be thankful. I have to thank something, anything, whatever it is, for giving me this life that I have.

I forgot how to be funny in written form. But, give me a six day old stale hot dog, a hissing radiator, and a rapid fire Bostitch nail gun and I’m sure it will come back to me.

Is your own life greater than the idea of you?

What will I find out that I can’t believe I never knew before?

Riding a bike is about the journey; driving a car is about the destination.

Never be so fixated on where you are going that you forget where you already are.

“Hey, you wanna fuck?” she whispered softly into his ear. “Ummm, no get the fuck away from me, Grandma” he replied.

“What a shithole” she said as she entered the front door. “Thanks, mom” sarcastically replied the college freshman from inside his dorm.

“Thanks for the flowers” she said to the man whom she had just met for a blind date. “Well, I bought them because I am going to kill you and needed them for your funeral” he replied.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

I'd rather live like a bum than die like a success.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

If I say this enough it will be funny, if I say this enough it will be funny, if I say this enough it will be funny, if I say this enough it will be funny, if I say this enough it will be funny, if I say this enough it will be funny, if I say this enough it will be funny. I guess not. I guess not. I guess not. Fuck this it isn’t working. Fuck this it isn’t working. Fuck this it isn’t working. Wait, you might have just cracked a smile. Wait, you might have just cracked a smile. Good enough. Good enough. Good enough. I’m proud of myself. I’m proud of myself. I’m proud of myself. If you didn’t crack a smile, I will come and kill you. If you didn’t crack a smile I will come and kill you. If you didn’t crack a smile, I will come and kill you. Okay, this is getting annoying.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

The Alarm Clock

The world is sleeping
the people need to wake up

This society
is turning a blind eye
covering their eyes slightly with their hands
attempting to ignore
what is truly there

The masses are snoring
the people are happy because of it
one can only sleep so long
before a nightmare occurs
and the one in our dreams
will be nothing compared
to the one that will really be there
when we wake up
if we don’t do something
about this

(10/26/2011 3:01 pm)

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

New Shit

Hey, if you are reading this, thanks for reading this shit. I appreciate it. I try to always keep in interesting enough to keep coming back for more. I wouldn't ever write it if I wouldn't read it, so again, thanks for checking it out.

Sentences that I’m not sure what they mean but they sound good anyway: When you kill god, the idea finally has a chance to born.

I don’t (something my cat ripped off the edge of the paper and I will never remember)

Remember when life was about how cool your boom box was?

Three things I am truly afraid of: Loneliness, loss & myself.

Don’t work more; need less.

You can’t hold on to trying to think, you have to totally let go and let the thought run itself through you.


If I smoked pot, I’d get rid of my car.

The trees don’t cry
the rocks don’t care
the sky has yet to complain
the sun keeps going on despite all of this
the waves never ask
the wind doesn’t turn its back.

They say “don’t text while driving” but say nothing about writing something like this (while driving). [actually observed]

There’s a dark cloud hanging over life and it’s called death.

In this society, if you aren’t crazy then you are crazy.

Never piss on a gargoyle.

I’d try the McRib, but I don’t want to McThrowup.

True Love: We were talking about basketball, and I said to my friend Jared, “He realizes your love for the game.” He said, “I don’t think anyone does.”

People bet sports games to “make it more interesting” while they watch it. I wonder how much one would have to bet on a WNBA game in order for it to become interesting enough to sit through.

The keep updating us about this lockout of the NBA, and how many games are going to be cancelled, but no one realizes the saving grace; the WNBA is still going to have their season!

There are no real winners in the WNBA.

Saying the WNBA is basketball is like saying the NBA isn’t.

There is a billboard telling men to be a good father to their children. Listen, if you aren’t already a good father to your children, a billboard isn’t going to convince you otherwise.

A comedian can get away with saying anything, because they always have the excuse that it is just comedy.

Do you ever find the one or do you just sort of give up and say this one is good enough?

Don't expect anything. Many times, that is what you get anyway.

I want to piss off the tallest building in the world.

A writer to a non-writer easily summed up:
(something happens, a guy pulls out a pen and piece of paper from his pocket and starts writing something down)
A: What are you doing?
B: Writing it down.
A: Why?
B: I want to.

Life can be ruined too easily.

In this society, we need birth control in alcoholic form.

“Benoit” can be pronounced ben-wah. That means “exploit” could be pronounced expl-wah.

I wonder if the president has to use stamps.

One should always have at least five dollars with them.

When I’m on a construction site, I like to call it a Jesus’ pencil instead of a carpenter’s pencil just to keep people on their toes.

Drunk: I should have been a dentist.
Still drunk, but a second later realization what just came out of my mouth: Wait, no I shouldn’t.

How do these people always know it is the “middle of the woods”? It might not be even close to the middle.

My life philosophy: Why not make it enjoyable?

If you wear baggy pants and have to walk weird in order to keep them from falling down and think it makes you cool, it doesn’t. If you have to go to those lengths in order to impress someone about how cool you are, then you aren’t.

You ever see how a dog scratches his butt up against things when they have fleas? They sort of look like the girls in Juvenile’s Back That Ass Up video. Someone has to tape their dogs doing this and set it to that song and put it up on youtube. I’ve got other shit to do, like think of stupid shit like this, so someone else go ahead and do it so I can watch it and laugh.

You’re never rude in your own house.

These paper towel companies keep upping the amount of times you can reuse them; using it as a selling point. “Bounti can now be reused four times!” Yeah, well a rag can be reused forever times.

If ones teeth are all decayed, their mouth cavity has become just that, an entire mouth cavity.

What do you say when you have said it all and it’s not enough? (You just might have to come to the realization that you might have not said enough yet).

If I was from Jersey, I don’t think I could fool myself into being proud of it.

People use the term “natural death” as in “he got old and died a natural death” but they forget that if you really get down to it, every death is a natural death.

The universe connects with itself through you.

A: Who’s in that picture?
B: It’s my grandmother, she’s dead.
A: Oh, sorry.
B: Why, you didn’t kill her did you?

I’m more drunk when I’m sober than when I’m drunk. This makes total sense. I wrote it while I was drunk, but even now, reading it back as I am sober, I still understand it. That is because I am more drunk when I’m sober than when I’m drunk and therefore can understand nonsense such as this.

Nietzsche’s mustache, those goddamn glasses and sweat dripping from his stache. That smelly suit he wore while teaching, he never bathed enough, and even the hooker who gave him syphilis. His diseased unit warping his mind to write shit no one else possibly could. The loneliness enough to sit in a room with no one for long periods of time, wasting his mind away on the sheet, melting away his sanity so that he could get it down on paper. One must slightly look up to one willing to sacrifice so much for something they love. One must at least somewhat respect a man willing to give up his own mind for something he truly loves. One must realize the love one must have had for philosophy when one is to realize even his own life wasn’t more important than it.

Kayfabe to the grave.