Sunday, April 22, 2012

Larry King's Foot

I don’t think one person can ever totally understand another.  But, as long as they try to, that is far more than enough.

I thought of this idea.  After making tea, let it cool then put ice in it.  We can call it ice tea.  Oh, it’s already been done?  You didn’t let me finish.  Here’s the kicker:  on a stick!

So many stories start with, “A boy wants to impress a girl…”

God is a faget.

Act more like your cats.

Skittles motto is “Taste The Rainbow.”  I wanted to, but the store was closed.  So I licked a homosexual.  It wasn’t worth the $1.39.

Sometimes you feel like eating a strawberry.  There is nothing wrong with that.  Go for it.

Butter knife beauty.  Razor blade style.

Bananas are no good when they are black, which makes them a lot like people.

In my car, when you want the front seat, you don’t call “shotgun.” You call “Rosa Parks.”

I just farted.  My aunt didn’t shower for three years.

All you remember is love or none of it.

A man learned a lesson every day of his life. On his dying day, he had yet to realize his lesson for the day. Sad, he thought, “a day in which I didn’t learn a lesson. You can’t learn a lesson everyday.” He died peacefully, knowing not a day was missed.

Figurehead of nothing.

Garbage.  Trash.  Rubbish.  Junk.
Hmmm…something wrong here?