Friday, September 20, 2013

A Little Math

(everything = death) + (death = the unknown) = (everything = the unknown)

a = (german) - g x (e + r + m + n)

Aunt Bobby Joe Sue

Aunt Bobby Joe Sue had the misfortune of parents who couldn’t decide over a name.  Instead of their original plan of a dual involving automatic weapons to decide who would be the one to choose the name, they found peace and were able to agree to just call her both names.  This was never good for her self esteem, as it is hard enough to live with one male name as a girl, never mind two.  It is no wonder she developed sexual problems and went on to become a lesbian.  It didn’t help that her parents also kept her wardrobe consisting solely of dirty overalls and motorcycle jackets.  She  married a man (who was once a woman) named Wilfred Jared.  They had a lot in common, mostly the fact that their parents didn’t know how to name them according to their sex.  A quadruple homicide was in the works involving both, but plans were stifled when, as they said, “Those damn Mendez brothers stole our idea.”  They started a campaign to have the Menendez brothers killed because of their jealousy, and so that I can’t write about them in the year 2010, more than two decades after they are still on the minds of the mainstream American public.

Bobby Joe and Wilfred Jared went on to have a daughter who starred in Disney movies at the age of eight.  She voiced many prominent male figures due to her deep voice which she developed when it was found that she had undescended testicles…and a descended penis.  She was fired from Disney when she was not willing to exploit her underage body on TV and in movies, something which she agreed to when she signed the contract with Disney.

She was still able to find large amounts of fame at a young age, but “Androgynous” as they called her, could never recapture her fame in her later years.  She went on to work at Wal-Mart as a greeter but was fired when she didn’t pay attention during the interview and told the entering shoppers to, “Get the fuck out of here!”  Being fired from Wal-Mart was not the end for Andro-genius (a nickname she developed due to her love of Albert Einstein), but a shopping cart was.  She was killed in a drive by shopping cart shooting by a high end member of the popular Crip gang when he mistook her for the son of a KKK leader.  She was wearing a white robe and a pointy white hat at the time of her death.  The service consisted of something I am too drained to think of, although I am sure it was overly hilarious and creative.

If If is If is If If if If is if only if If is If is If If If is not if if If is not If If is If only if If is If If if is is if is not if if is is if only when is is is then if is if if is is is.