Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Gymnasium Salad


It is when you have “nothing to do” that you can do anything.

Love is such a beautiful thing.  It is so ugly to waste it.

Turning our back on tomorrow by going against today.

Let’s go out in public amongst people you know.  I want to come home and hear how sexy you think I am.

A list of things that feel equal to or better than sex (in a different way):

  • making a great pass in basketball
  • dancing
  • someone who has earned it finally getting their chance to shine
  • being outside in the open air surrounded by nature with no distractions
  • writing (at certain times when it’s really good)
  • murdering my cats - got ya
  • laughing

If I was a seeing eye dog, I’d fuck with people so much.  Bring them to the wrong store.  What are they gonna do, hit me?  I’d just walk them into oncoming traffic.

It’s gotta be magical.  I will accept nothing less than total magic.

Do you believe in magic?  Because I see forever in your eyes.

I want to live my life with the same freedom an carefree attitude that Harry & Lloyd feel once they find out there is money in the briefcase.

Hope is a stepping stone hidden under the river known as life.  When things come hard, it isn’t easy to see, you might no t be able to see it at all, but it is there.  Take a step.

To Realize Dreams

My hope is infinite.

My time is not.

I went to a restaurant and wanted a lemon.  They didn’t have one.  Sometimes life doesn’t give you lemons.

Someone fucking surprise me!

Never make a wish in a war zone.

I think it’s odd that people order a garden salad, because what other type of salad would it be?  A gymnasium salad?

Pig Sty Mind

One can know too much.  How do you know?  You’ll know.  When you know that, it’s too much.

I delivered to this guy with a really nice house, beautiful views, he tips well, and he’s even very friendly.  This house on a hill overlooking the Berkshire mountains, including Mount Greylock and a view into Vermont.  As he gave me the tip, I noticed he was wearing a wig.  I thought, “Look at that guy’s beautiful house.  Yeah, but he feels it necessary to wear a wig.”

Life is a total mystery and we are conscious of it and part of it. Can we even begin to fathom the mystery of death?

My shit numbers don’t add up.  This is not good.  My daily shit calendar has me at 359 shits for the year, my texting shit count has me as 355.  That’s a four shit discrepancy.  (Yes, I said daily shit calendar).

I have a shit calendar.  How cool am I?

The peace and quiet of being poor.

I don’t want your gift.  I’d rather your time.

The Rock isn’t a wrestler. He just acts like one.

You’re asking the wrong guy, man.  I wear dresses for fun.

To ignore the mighty power of nature, what a blatant stupidity.

Why do they make bug spray, but not human spray?  I would probably use it way more.

Success = (hope x realism) + effort.

In a way, I think heaven might smirk down at hell, knowing that much more.

As you get older, all of a sudden, everyone gardens.

Live to feel alive, a passion deep inside that can’t be denied.

Cry me a river, I like swimming, but don’t drown in it.

Illiterate:  doesn’t know about littering.

The idea of tic tac toe crossed my mind, but I crossed that idea out.  Instead, I just wrote an “X” and thought about sideways crucifixion.

In the past 10 years, I haven’t changed.  I’m talking about my clothes.

I’ve got a date with destiny.  I met her at the strip club.

Vagabondage:  a guy that moves from place to place who is into S&M.

Life is a process, not an end result.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  Middle Ages Untransformed Cowboy Bunnies.

You don’t have what you want?  Change some of what you want.  That’s an option.  Or, go get what you want.  That’s another.

Before the internet, blackpeoplemeet.com was just the ghetto.

Dressing as a whore depending on season

Spring: Early spring - be careful (too eager to wear too little) later spring - okay, it’s starting to warm up

Summer: could just be because it’s hot out, too hard to differentiate the true whores from women just trying to stay comfortable in the heat

Fall:  dedicated to their whoreness (Halloween excluded), you have to respect their dedication to being a whore

Winter: way too desperate, could be literally crazy - stay away!

Thanks for reading.